August 25, 2015

Fear Is Real and How to Break Free.

 Marissa Rose

Fear hit me straight in the face when I left everything I knew to start over in a place I swore I’d never go back to.

I began my 50-hour road trip from San Clemente, California to Charleston, South Carolina for many reasons. This was a move of the heart, to be closer to family and deepen my relationship with my boyfriend. In order to do so, I had to leave everything I knew behind.

I’ve lived there before. My last experience in Charleston turned out to be a sad and painful learning lesson. I promised myself I’d never go back, where I had been heartbroken, financially poor and beaten down by fear itself. But hey, life comes full circle and what isn’t finished must be completed in order to grow into the person you were created to be.

I knew I was taking a leap of faith and was ready for fear to present itself. So I went back. Game on.

To my surprise, fear didn’t show its sweet face until I saw the first sign for Charleston on the interstate. My energy completely shifted. I started to express feeling tired, exhausted, I wanted a coffee. When we pulled into town, the fear got real. I felt like someone had me in a chokehold. I wanted to run, cry and yell all at the same time.

For me, fear arrives first as an energetic change. Then I begin to feel it in my body—mostly in my chest and throat.

Once we got to my quaint southern condo, everything was empty inside. Reality began to sank it.

I had to start over. Like blank slate, know nothing, everything is different, where am I kind of starting over. I realized I couldn’t go back. This was it, and I was scared. I then began to act out. I watched myself move from the sweet, compassionate woman that I am to a controlling, dominating, scared little girl. My boyfriend called me out and made me take a good look at myself and the battle that I had created in my mind.

The underlying question—what we need to do to break free from fear?

1. Acknowledge your fear. Say hello. Make it real.

I immediately acknowledged my fear. I spoke to it: “Hey you, I see you and I’m not going to let you stop me.” In the midst of this internal conversation, I broke down in a parking lot, tears and all. I was afraid to fail. This failure was real for me. It had happened before, so why wouldn’t it happen again?

2. Write it down. Give your fear a name. Call it out.

I didn’t want fear to win this battle. After all, my heart had chosen this path, and I knew that it had to have made the right choice. While still crying, I grabbed the journal that I carry with me and put pen to paper. I wrote down everything I was afraid of failing at: my relationship, career, friendships and much more. By writing it down, I was able to get out of my head and create space in my mind to move forward. Even if it was still painful, I knew this feeling of fear and self-doubt wouldn’t last forever.

3. Give it up. Surrender your fear to something greater.

For me, surrendering is to God. Giving up my fears to something way bigger than myself reminds me how small my problems really are. In this vast universe, I am but a small drop. It shifts my perspective and humbles me.

My prayer:

“I am a world changer and boldness is my middle name. I want to be the complete manifestation of who God created me to be so that the world can receive what the world is waiting for.”

4. Ask for support. Share your fear. You are not alone.

This prayer rocked me. It felt like lightning had struck my soul and I was renewed in that moment. I reached out to family and friends. I asked them to pray for me, to send me love. I shared my fear with those closest to me. Truthfully, I was surrounded by love. I just had to take action to realize it and step out of the cloud that I had allowed to surround me.

Once I acknowledged and shared my fear, the power center shifted. Instead of my fear controlling me, I had control over it. I now had the power to choose how I would respond and how I was going to show up for myself.

5. Be the person your fear says you are not.

Take action right away! This is the most vital step in winning the battle over fear. You’ve got to actually do something about it!

I chose the opposite expression of my fear. Instead of being controlled and dominated by fear, I decided to fully express my love through my words and actions. The action I took was simple: I cooked dinner for my family and my new roommate. It left me feeling valued, loved, supported and connected. Fear didn’t stand a chance surrounded by this new grasp I had on life.

Nothing lasts forever. Not even fear. Sitting here just a few days later, I can tell you that I am free of this fear. It might show up again, but I’m fully armored in love. I feel excitement, gratitude and a marvelous anticipation for what’s to come.



Author: Marissa Rose

Editor: Evan Yerburgh

Image: Author’s own

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