August 24, 2015

I Will Light My Own Spark.

"Spark," Wesley Eller, Flickr

Today I contemplated enlightenment.

It makes no sense to me.

No one I have ever known has had their human reality load lightened.

But maybe this whole not being reborn into suffering thing is an option,

an option this minute

to re-birth ourselves,

to choose to care for our own personal reality:

love and light—


and the biggest dose of self-care we can scoop up and shovel onto ourselves,

wherever we happen to be.

Because the undying truth is that no one else is going to do this for us.

I hate this reality,

but it is true.

No one else is going to love us

and hug us,

and hold us so tight and deep that the whole universe will be

made up of our favorite flowers,

that flow love through our cells

and ensure we will be happy no matter what.

It is up to each of us

to do this for ourselves,

to light a spark

right in our own centers—

to gather the tinder,

create the spark,

blow gently but consistently

until a small flame gathers around the ember.

And then don’t walk away.

This is so important.

Whatever you do, don’t walk away

or the fire will go out.

Instead search for more fuel—

search everywhere until you find it.

We all have to ask ourselves what is our right fuel,

and then we have to find it

and add it carefully and consistently and generously to the fire of our own making.

Sometimes of course we will forget to tend our own fires,

we will stray too far from the rock ring,

and the unattended flame will be bombarded by wind,

and showered by rain.

This might happen.

Our fire might cease to burn.

But we know where to find more twigs,

Even if we think we don’t.

We know which trees to crouch under,

which branches are the driest,

which ones will catch fire the quickest.

And we will remember what it feels like to turn our faces towards the heat

of our own flames—

our breath on the hot coals,

making the flames go higher.

This is our job,

our only job.

And any moment spent

piling this fire-making job onto

another human

is a moment lost—

a moment we can never retrieve.

Don’t wait for anyone else to stoke your flame.

The only moment it can burn higher is now,

and only person who can tend it is you.


Relephant read: 

10 Profound Things that help me reconnect with joy when I’m burned out & uninspired.


Author: Ruth Lera

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

Image: Wesley Eller/ Flickr

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