August 25, 2015

My 4-Step Method for dealing with Emotional Rampages.

maitri compassion selfcare

Getting Back on Track.

Sometimes, we get distracted, pulled off course, and redirected by something that feels bigger than us.

It could have been a sexual encounter that made us feel self conscious or something that seemed dramatic that had us spiraling.

There are also periods of time when we feel light, effortless and unburdened. But in times when we feel pulled off course, strange feelings begin to arise, often dramatically.

In our current day culture, emotions are often seen as something to be reckoned with professionally. If we feel emotional, something must be wrong with us.

The truth is this: Nothing is wrong with me. Read that again. Nothing is wrong with me.

Feeling is the essence of who we are, as human beings. Sure—depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders are certainly something to be worked through with the help of a professional, but emotions aren’t a medical condition.

When I feel pulled off course, there are a few things that I like to assess before taking the actual steps to getting back on course.

First, I’ll take time to assess how I feel, usually in an environment that is free of distraction.

A solo hike, or time at the beach will usually suffice. I’ll meditate, staying peacefully in the moment as I process what I am feeling.

The next thing I do is accept how I feel.

The inner critic loves to say, “Something is wrong with you! You should be feeling happy!” No, no, no.

There is nothing you should ever feel, do, say or think. Honor what’s going on in your heart, mind and body, with a glass of some red wine, a chunk of dark chocolate or a bouquet of flowers.

The third thing I do is write.

I always journal when I feel anything. This way I can cater to my Virgo spirit by solidifying, analyzing and recording my feelings.

Sometimes I’ll look back on it for reference. If that same trigger comes up twice, I know what it is, and I can gently reassure myself of it’s presence, while consciously working through it.

Often times I’ll tear that page out and burn it, which leads me to my next step.

The fourth thing to do is release it.

I consciously let it go, either in meditation, in nature, through my sexual energy, through talking to a friend or by burning it.

For me, ritual is a large portion of overall self care. This honors my self care by allowing me to take time to perform a cleansing ritual.

If life feels overwhelming, it’s probably not as bad as we think. Thoughts that overwhelm us are usually dramatic and are often extinguished with a conscious mind.

I minimize the dramatic thoughts, sometimes dismissing them if they persist when I have identified them. I notice a pattern of dramatic thoughts when I fail to take care of myself, overthink, stress or don’t get enough sleep.

When I am able to handle my thoughts with both understanding and compassion, it makes me a more compassionate and loving person.

Whether we’d like to believe it or not, we are actually in a relationship with ourselves.

The way I easily comprehend the relationship I have with myself is by posing the question, “Is the way I talk to myself how I would treat someone that I love?”

I like to imagine that someone I care about is standing before me, in tears. Would I tell them to “just get over it”? Or would I hug them, and gently soothe them without judgement?

Then, I like to imagine standing outside of my body, looking at myself. I’d direct that same attention, care and compassion toward myself as I would to that person I envisioned earlier.

I make it a daily practice of recommitting to myself. Each morning that I rise, I take a moment to consciously invest in myself.

Investing in oneself is different for everyone, but for me it means that I will remain committed to my life, my emotions and my path by being awake and aware of what my body needs, when it needs it. I compassionately approach emotional rampages with the four-step method of feeling, accepting, writing and releasing.

Together, we can learn to honor those emotions instead of dismissing them. Say it with me, “I am worth it!”


Author: Sarah Winston

Editor: Rachel Nussbaum


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