August 12, 2015

Not the Forever Kind.

Photo: Wiki Commons

I am not your forever kind, ask my lovers before you.

You think this is different, that I could possibly be the one.

Wait and see… I’m wild, free and simple, yet complicated.

My lust for life and love makes you drunk with desire. I appear to be a woman of the world with grandiose ideas, and you’ll often find me drifting in the clouds—so that like a balloon with a string, you gently pull me down to the earthly matters of living.

The passion in my heart is my driving force and I believe that all things are possible—dreams as big as the moon, making wishes upon dandelions, that everything happens for a reason and even forever love.

With the attention span of a playful squirrel, my thoughts are random and will take you on five different journeys all within a few short minutes—you’ll find this so endearing.

The depth of vulnerability from which I speak will touch the deepest, darkest parts of you that you didn’t even know they were there.

We’ll spend endless hours having passionate sex and many more of tender love making. We’ll feel like we’ve known each other for lifetimes, traveled together hand in hand for centuries. We’ll talk and dance from sundown to sunrise and the only thing skipping a beat would be our hearts.

You will think…She’s the one. I’ll think the same of you. Because life is magical.

This is a dreamers dream, the forever love. My heart is so full of joy, it bursts in anticipation of loving another.

And another. And another.

You see, my spirit has endured even the toughest love to find peace and union together on the other side. The barbs begin to surround that tender muscle where the garden of my love grows, to protect from what it can already sense to be true.

I attract emotionally unavailable lovers.

There’s an emptiness there, but devastatingly—no vacancy.

The things which drew you in and opened your heart, will eventually turn you sour toward me.

You’ll wish that I could just stay on track when telling a story. You’ll rant that I don’t have enough endurance to follow something through, “Get your head out of the clouds,” you’ll say.

You’ll grow tired of me and my crazy ways.

The reasons you fell in, and then fell out—have nothing to do with me.

I attracted you and you attracted me.

Two emotionally unavailable hearts, both longing for a love which will never be…somewhere out there and even right here. You want me, but you cannot invite me in to stay. When you’re finally ready, I’m already gone.

This is my history. Dancing on rooftops with a hopeful heart, then falling into the gutter with the blasphemous truth.

You’re not my first, nor will you be my last. There will be another one in disguise. Like you, he will think he’s ready for this. We know how it plays out.

I will love him too, for days, weeks, months or years—and I’ll do it with every gasping breath, thankful—but knowing that this too will end.

I believe in forever love, but I’m not the forever kind.



Relephant Read:

The Art of Letting Go.

Bonus: The one trap people fall into on the spiritual path: 


Author: Trish Lane

Editor: Renee Jahnke

Image: Wiki Commons


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