August 24, 2015

What If I Had Never Met You?


rain, lovers, hands

What if we had never met?

The world is filled with unexplainable events. Some people mysteriously enter our lives or cross our paths at various times or when we least expect it.

If we are lucky, some one will cross our path that will open our eyes to a new way to love, a new passion and new ideas about the world.

If we are even luckier, these people will remain in our lives for a lifetime, however most of the time, people come and go. We must absorb all the love and passion they have to give us when they are on our path while giving generously back our love and passion.

I’ve met various people throughout my life at various times in my life while I was going through various issues in my life. I have been introduced to many new ideas and learned a lot of lessons in love and life from different people.

We never truly know the meaning of why a person enters our lives and the impact they have or had on us until after a spending a lot of time with them and connecting deeply together or until they are gone.

I met a few special girls when I was younger. We would spent a lot of time together, sharing common interests and introducing each other to new ideas and passions that we enjoyed.

One of my passions at the time was betting on sports and gambling and would teach them about it. It would rub off on them and soon they were either betting with me or we would be making our own little “cute” bets that had nothing to do with sports. Bets such as who gets a massage later, or who writes who a poem or sing karaoke, things like that. I’ve been told by a few that I am still in contact with that some will still occasionally bet money on a sporting event, and another plays the “betting games” with her new partners that she meets as an ice breaker.

I learned so much more from them than they did from me. One was extremely spontaneous and taught me how to go with the flow and get moving at the drop of the dime.

Another taught me to chase after my dreams and not just accept what was in front of me at the time. She also taught me not to be scared of meeting new people and how to put myself out there.

They are not nameless to me, I still think about them frequently and all I learned from them. I carry them all inside of me and constantly wonder what I would be like if I never met them. What kind of person would I be today had I not met these people?

However all those relationships ended for one reason or another. After each ended, I took stock of each relationship and evaluated what I had learned. What new things did each teach me about love and/or passions?

What I learned after the fact was that I did love them all in my own unique fashion when I was with them. I was terrible at expressing and showing love in my younger days. I always felt emotional unavailability during most of my early relationships which caused many of the break ups, so I started thinking more…what else did I learn from these girls I was intimate with? Who am I now that I’ve met and opened up to these wonderful people.

Today I thrive on risk taking. I thrive on spontaneity. These are more lessons and passions I leaned from my experiences with intimate connections with girls from my youth. To live life to the fullest and never shut my door on people.

I still talk a few of them and we occasionally cross paths and rewind our intimacy.

It’s easy for us to accept what we have at the time and settle for what we have. We may have great things, people and love in our lives, but we should want and thrive for more.

One in particular stands out more than the rest. I reconnected recently with an old flame about a year ago. My eyes, spirit, soul and heart had been shut for a few years. I was seasonally burned out of love. I was tired of chasing after people and tired of being scared of rejection. This old flame helped me reopen all the parts of me that were closed off and introduced me to many new things.

She taught me how to love unconditionally. For 33 years, I never understood that concept. For 33 years, I felt love had to be on my terms and love would only work if a girl was willing to put up with my imperfections, not the other way around. Reciprocating imperfections was never on my radar. It took an old flame crossing my path at the right time to help me understand how to do this. She taught me how to accept, embrace and even cherish a persons imperfections.

To sum it up, she taught me a new way to love someone. The few imperfections she “claimed” to have or felt she had, I thought made her beautiful.

She also taught me about the values of sustainability throughout the world, and the benefits of buying from local vendors and supporting local businesses. All ideas I never gave a thought to before I met her. She took me to farmers markets, traveled with me and opened my eyes to so many things that to list them all would be a disservice to the few that may slip my mind.

She introduced me to yoga, how to practice love passionately, mediation and the negativities associated with attachments. She taught me that it’s better to love and grow with someone as individuals and grow together than it is to be attached to someone and live for someone. Had I not reconnected with her, I still may be closed off and would have missed the lessons she had to offer me. When I was with her, I embraced the love she had for me, and returned it passionately until it was time for us to part ways again.

Many of us do not realize the value of a person and their role in changing us until they are gone. Some of these people were destined to cross our path (or re-cross our path) and we never fully appreciated it. I have met many girls and have been forever changed by my interactions with them.

We should all take stock in our relationships, past and present and find the goodness that made our connections to these people so deep and unique. Did they come in to our lives for a reason? Did we recognize and embrace that reason? Did they enter our lives during a season where we needed to open ourselves back up to the world and open our mind, body, spirit and soul to love?

Or do we have people that are always in our lives to help us learn how to love and how to be passionate?

What if I never met them? What if I never opened myself up to them? What if I never deeply connected with them?

What kind of person would I be today?

I know I would not be who I am today had I not met these people. I would not be who I am had I not opened myself to deep connections with these people that opened my entire inner being to change and introduced me to new ideas and passions that I still practice today. I would know less about the world and have less to pay forward to new people who cross (or re-cross) my path.



The Value in Re-dating an Ex.

Author: Adam Wilkinson

Assistant Editor: Hilda Carroll/Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Photobucket

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