September 22, 2015

20 Second Hugs are Integral to Relationships.

Jesslee Cuizon/Flickr

Are hugs present in your relationships?

Real hugs?

The kind of hug that lasts long enough for both partners to rest their heads on each others shoulders, eyes closed, slowed breathing. Sinking into the hug feels like melting into a puddle on the floor.

If yes, I commend your efforts at acknowledging each other in this way.

If no, then we have something in common—and there’s work to be done.

My husband and I, ya, we hug, but it’s rarely a hug where the embrace is long enough to make me feel re-energized.

Maybe it’s just bad timing?

Either I stop him for a hug before he runs out the door to work, or I catch him in the hall before he jumps in the shower. It seems that there’s always something more pertinent to get to in life.

It’s high time that hugs—real hugs—become a priority.

I am an affectionate person. PDA doesn’t bother me in the least, in fact I fully participate. It seems however, that when I am in need of my partners embrace, his big arms wrapped around me, I am left feeling unsatisfied.

Last year I implemented a relationship request—our hugs need to last for 20 seconds.

20 seconds. Easy. No problem.

To overcome bad timing, I tried switching it up with asking for hugs at different times. Taking into account our height difference, me at a meek 5′ 3” and him at a towering 6′ 4”, I stand on the couch, bed or a kitchen chair.

This puts us more evenly face to face allowing us to rest our heads on each others shoulders, and he can wrap his big man arms around me.

Ahhhhh. Just what I was wanting.


Want to know how many seconds our hugs generally last? Five. Yep, five seconds.

People of the world, and husband of mine, this is unacceptable.

Humans need hugs.

Hugs need to be treated as a sacred time shared between partners.

Forget your busy life for just a moment. Embrace each other. Meld with each others energy. Walk away from the hug feeling topped up on love.

Smiles upon faces, lights glowing from hearts.

20 second hugs, make this a relationship priority.



The Secret Language of Hugs.

The Eightfold Path to a Truly Great Hug.

Author: Richelle Rae

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Jeslee Cuizon

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