That’s a statement I never expected to make!
At the beginning of the year, I resolved to always choose the adventuresome path—the path that makes me feel a bit unsure—the one that involves risk, stepping into unknown, facing fears and remaining decidedly outside the box.
This is the path that keeps me on my toes, keeps my reality from getting stagnant and keeps me from settling. It’s the path that might draw criticism—and might not make any sort of rational sense to those on the outside looking in—but the one that my heart knows is the right one.
I never imagined that “following the adventuresome path” would mean moving back to the mainland after only 22 blissful months spent living on Maui.
However, leaving this place (and the quite excellent and successful life that I’ve built here) to move to a-currently-undecided-upon-location-within-a-14-hour-drive-of-Indiana-that-will-most-likely-get-cold-on-occasion is definitely the most adventuresome path.
As I prepare my heart to move away from Hawaii, I’ve been doing a lot of savoring of each beautiful moment on my beloved island.
It’s been a long process, over about six months, but I can authentically say that I’ve gotten to a place where I have absolute peace about the move and am actually heaps excited for the changes ahead (even though a few months ago, just the thought of leaving Maui made me spittin’ mad).
Honestly? It’s something of a miracle, because I didn’t think it could ever happen.
Earlier this week I came across a journal entry, from a couple months ago, that marked a turning-point in this process:
“I’ve been wondering lately whether I could ever be as happy, enamored with and entranced by the landscape and reality of any other place as I am with this magical island. I’ve come to the conclusion that I most definitely could be.
If I moved again I’d probably be just as much bewitched by the magic of that particular place, as I am by Maui, because I’d seek it out and revel in it—just as I do here. Because that’s who I am, and that’s how I live life.
For the last 18 months, I have held onto the islands with a fierce, vice-like grip. It’s been a love affair of the most passionate sort. It’s stolen my wild, restless heart and made me terrified to think of ever leaving—of there ever having to be an end. But there are other pulls, too, and the opposing pulls can at times seem impossible—and maddening.”
That opposing pull is the reason I’m moving—I’ve spent the last 10 years choosing destinations, but this time I’m choosing family.
I am 110% sure that it is a good decision, but—I’m not breaking up with Maui, and I’ll most definitely be back!
An impending change is always a good reminder to appreciate every second of the current moment.
That’s exactly what I’ll be doing for the next 30 days, before I hop on a plane and begin a new season of life on the mainland—or, as I prefer to call it—the Biggest Island.
Have you ever had to choose between people and a place? Which did you choose, and how did you make peace with your decision?
Author: Hana Rexroth
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Photo: Flickr/Ale Art