I believe in men, in a time when so many of us have lost hope that truly evolved, conscious men exist.

We women have been seekers, teachers, free-spirited wanderers, wild things, sexually awakened goddesses, tribal leaders, and spiritual lightning rods. We need partners whose path leads them towards emotional honesty.

We don’t want spiritual rhetoric in the absence of true character. We want men who live their words.

Men, in my opinion, are just as hungry as women for meaningful, deep, intimate relationships.

I can’t remember now where I first read a quote by David Deida, but when I did, I was immediately inspired to gift one of his books to my best friend and lover.

The gift was as much one that would offer new insights to my love as it was a reflection of the man my partner already was.

There is no doubt in my mind that there are many women currently are searching for a partner who will honor them in every aspect of their lives. I know this because as I’ve shared so often about my own relationship, my readers have written to me to say so.

While there is no single insight/teaching/illuminated voice that will suit every soul, I find David Deida’s words to suit many.

Countless men and women have breathed his wisdom and found grains of truth within.

I’d like to share some of those teachings with you, some quotes that have struck a chord with my romantic, optimistic, spiritually hungry soul.

These quotes honor those men who are on the path to their most authentic, whole selves and also those men who are still searching.

“Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.”

“Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence.”

“Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love. Her gift, if she is a good woman, is to test you with her darkest moods, over and over and over, until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge, and you are able to pervade her with your love, just as you are here to pervade the world. In response to your fearless consciousness, she will drench your world in love and light.”

“Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.”

“The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it.”

“Ongoing passion and growth in intimacy requires us to let go of our ideas of what we
“should” be doing and instead trust the wisdom inherent in our unguarded heart and uninhibited body.”  

“The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.”

“[To the masculine lover] Without a deep sense of purpose to direct your daily life, you will be directed by externals-financial need, your children’s needs, your lover’s needs-and you will begin to blame them for your lack of fulfillment. You will feel trapped in obligations, and your resentments will show. You will hold back in your relationships with your lover and family, not really wanting to be there, unsure what else to do, mired in ambiguity, guilt, and anger. Your actions will lack integrity and follow-through. Your feminine lover won’t be able to trust you in everyday life or open to you sexually.”

“Trust, love, what we call sexy, who we trust in a business situation, are all based on how open we are. Openness is bodily openness, muscular relaxation, heart openness as opposed to hiding behind some emotional wall, and spiritual openness, which is actually feeling so fully into the moment that there’s no separation between you and the entire moment.” 

“True surrender is true power: the love-force that moves the universe is also the love-force that breathes your breath and beats your heart. When fear dissolves, you no longer separate yourself from this single flow of immense force. Love is continuity with infinite life-force, a oneness of being with no separation. Opening sexually is opening to this flow of life-force. And love is the key to this opening.” 

“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” 

“Before I understood how to open with you, I tried giving you orgasms so I knew I was a good lover. But now, all I want is your surrender. I want your heart’s pleasure to ripple through your open body and saturate my life with your love. Your body’s openness to love’s flow draws me into you, and through your heart’s surrender I am opened to the love that lives as the universe. Whether you have an orgasm or not while we make love, your body’s trust and devotional openness is my secret doorway to love’s deepest bliss.” 

“The feminine is a miracle of surrender, a flower of force that either opens or closes. As a woman, you can use your masculine discrimination to decide which direction to move in, but when you are polarized into your feminine energy–by a man of great masculine presence, for instance–then you may lose access to your masculine directionality. In moments like these, you may find yourself unable to say no.” 

“Feminine and masculine needs for appreciation grow though levels, from self-doubt, to self-assurance, to self-giving. At the lower levels, a relationship can be rife with neediness: you are needy for constant reassurance that you are loved, desired, and attractive, and your masculine partner is needy for your admiration of his success and attainments. The middle levels of growth involve developing self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and self-admiration. The higher levels of growth involve surrendering open and giving your deepest gifts of love and freedom–in spite of whether you feel appreciated by others or yourself.” 

“If you are with a man you don’t trust, it is only because you prefer unsurrendered love to surrendering wide open in total trust. It feels safe. You are afraid to let go of control–part of you doesn’t trust love’s command–so you have chosen a man who doesn’t demand your surrender with his depth of integrity. If you did trust the command of love, you would only settle for a deep man capable of opening you more deeply than you could instruct him.” 

“If we hold back our energy to avoid feeling our sexual kinks, then we also hold back our deepest gifts. Without being shy, we can allow all our gifts to grow and all our sexual desires to come to the surface. Then, with compassion, humor, and understanding, we can undo the inappropriate forces of habit-energy that may have been shaped by a history beyond our control.” 

Relephant: 

How to Respectfully & Effectively Communicate with Men

Author: Monika Carless

Editor: Sarah Kolkka

Image: Author’s Own

Source: David Deida/Good Reads