I had a partner once whom I had such a strong physical attraction with and our sexual encounters were so amazing that I can almost recall every time we had sex or fooled around.
We both understood and appreciated the value of foreplay and utilized all our senses as much as possible. We were in tune with each other in bed and it lead to some of the most incredible sexual experiences of my life. We made it a mission to please all of our senses. We didn’t even have to discuss it, it just came natural to us (yes, pun intended) and my intimate encounters with her surpassed any others.
Most people first become attracted to someone because of their looks. It could be a certain type: some of us like blondes, some of us like brunettes, some of us like big butts, big breasts, small breasts, big hips, pretty eyes or so many other physical features that stand out. For me, it’s eyes and smile. A girl I was incredibly attracted to would look deep in my eyes and smile. I was hooked.
I was instantly aroused anytime I saw her naked, in a towel, underwear, or even any kind of clothing that revealed her skin or features that I was attracted to. We even joked that I couldn’t go to the beach with her because I would be constantly aroused at the sight of her in a bikini.
Whenever we fooled around, we would be dressed a the day we were born—naked. The sensory of sight was pleasing to us both.
Scent is one of the most powerful senses of attraction for me. A woman’s natural scent can drive me wild—and I mean wild! I knew a girl whose scent was the most powerful I’ve encountered—she used a perfume and a certain type of body wash and lotion that just drove me up the wall. I would walk next to her or be in the car with her and I would catch her scent and get semi-aroused and she often told me that my scent could arouse her too. Sometimes just breathing each other’s scent extremely heightened our pleasure. Still, to this day, I get phantom scents from her—I can mysteriously smell her even though she is nowhere around. And, to be honest, even the phantom scent sometimes arouses me.
I love to be touched and to touch my partner. I love when we touch each other at the same time. Our naked bodies, our hands all over each other. She would stroke me as I touch her all over and eventually focusing on her hot spot. This might seems juvenile to us but this type of arousal should make us feel young and I, personally, am always a little disappointed when this stage and sensory is skipped.
Sometimes we would even masturbate in front of each other. This experience can be amazing because we are focusing on our needs and watching how our partner takes care of their needs. From this, we can learn better ways to touch them. When me and my intimate partner at the time did it, we would practice climax at the same time and it was amazing!
Some of us are anti-oral sex and others can’t get enough of it. I’ve historically never been a big fan of giving, until I crossed paths with a girl who tasted so sweet! Honestly, I may have just been so attracted to her overall that the sensory of taste heightened by my raw physical attraction for her. I used to go down on her for long periods of time, but she was a giver so she would always stop me, switch or find and way to do it at the same time. Her taste aroused me immensely, especially combined with the pleasing of my other senses.
So far we got naked together, our bodies intertwined, we can intimately catch each other’s scent, we have been touching each other all over, moved on to tasting and now finally we incorporate the sense of hearing.
I begin to lose interest in sexual encounters if my partner is quiet. It makes me feel like I am either not pleasing her, she is not enjoying it or she is just shy.
It is pleasing to hear your partner moan and to communicate during sex. If our partner is doing something that feels good, we need to let them know! Don’t be shy! If we tell our partner how good we are feeling or if you make noises/moaning, it will heighten the experience for our partner as well.
A great communicator is someone who is not shy to express herself when she feels good, she will whisper in my ear how amazing my touch felt or how soft my skin is. If we were having sex she would say little dirty, but cute, things such as “F*ck me harder,” or “I want you to cum so bad,” or “I am so wet right now,” and others that would drive me wild and hearing them would make me climax so much faster.
When we put all our sense in during sex or sexual encounters, it extremely heightens the experience. Do not overlook foreplay, use it as means of communication.
One of my past partners would always ask, “If you could do without one sense during sex, what would it be?” The question was difficult to answer. I loved the feel of her hands on my body. I couldn’t keep my hands off her hips and her breasts. Her scent drove me up the wall and was like a magnet that literally attracted me to her. She was gorgeous and to not be able to see her amazing body would be a travesty. Could I survive without tasting her sweet taste? Perhaps I could but I wouldn’t want to. I could never really answer that questions.
Raw physical attraction should be celebrated and cherished. Yes, I do understand and appreciate the value of a “quickie” every now and then but most of the time, I want to see, feel, smell, taste and hear my partner. When I use all my sense, it gives me the ability to stay aroused much longer and I can actually orgasm multiple times.
We have our senses for a reason. Using them during sex will make the experience so much more pleasing for us and our partner. Be willing to communicate, be willing to fulfill each other’s fantasies (safe and mutually agreeable ones).
Pleasing more and all of our senses incorporates the mind, body and soul—It will draw you closer to the one you are choosing to fulfill your intimate desires with.
Author: Adam Wilkinson
Editor: Katarina Tavčar
Photo: Ludmila Vilarinhos/Flickr