“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex.” ~ Oscar Wilde
This isn’t about not wanting love or a relationship—this is just about the need to be supremely f*cked.
I have a desire pulsing underneath my skin, turning my aura red hot to the touch.
It’s not that I want to sacrifice my ideals or to cheapen my value.
Because I know that I am top shelf.
But, sometimes, no matter who we are or where we are in life, we just need to be f*cked.
We need to be touched, bitten, caressed, licked and f*cked into that place of total and complete peace.
The kind of peace where we can barely move afterward and our bodies are still radiating heat to the touch—when we can feel every ounce of tension and stress evaporate from our muscles with each powerful thrust.
Unfortunately, that’s not to say that I will get what I need though.
Part of becoming a conscious adult, who is aware of my emotions and the reasons behind my feelings, means that I can’t make decisions pretending that I don’t know what is really going on underneath.
I can’t pretend that I am not after being f*cked into forgetting.
The kind of forgetting the specifics, the smells and tastes and most of all—the feelings that seem to hang as sad on my soul as ornaments on a dying and faded Christmas tree, long after the holidays have passed.
But as much as I wish I could forget, I also don’t want to.
And I do want to be f*cked—but the kicker is, I don’t want it to be by just anyone.
I want to f*cked by a specific someone—in only the way he can.
I’ve never been good at settling and I don’t do lukewarm.
I only have an appetite for those who burn just as hot as I do.
I sometimes wish that I could control who my soul was on fire for, because in many instances, it would be much easier for me.
But, no matter how I try to direct my thoughts or desires toward others, just can’t make myself feel something that I don’t.
I know that not many people have felt this true fire and they end up perfectly happy and satisfied with the lives they lead.
I think that is amazing for them, but I know now that I am a fire junkie.
I am addicted to the heat and the passion—and damn it, now that I have felt it, I wonder how I could ever go back to normal.
I need to feel my heart flutter in my chest a bit, I want to feel myself get hot and my face flush and start to sweat a bit.
I need to feel myself start to tingle and grow wet just by being around this someone, talking with them.
Honestly, if I don’t almost cum by just talking with a man, then there is no point in him even touching my body.
The thing is, it’s not just the sex that makes us so excited we climax, it’s the person we are with.
It’s not about the grinding, the nakedness or even penetration—but it is about the way someone can affect our entire being.
It’s about how deeply intimate we are with another—emotionally open and honest.
Because sex is biological, but supreme f*cking is emotional.
It’s about being able to f*ck someone before we even undress them.
It’s about being able to look them in the eyes, biting our bottom lip, letting them know exactly what we wish to be doing with them.
It’s about being able to f*ck their mind as much as we f*ck their body.
To really turn someone on in the best way we have to risk of climbing inside their twisted mind and settling in for a bit—letting ourselves become acquainted with their demons and insecurities, so that we will know all the ways to silence everything but the desire between us.
I do want and need love—I feel it at times, especially when the rest of the world drops away.
But, no matter truthful that is—it’s not enough.
Because there are times, more often than not, when my desire to be f*cked literally bubbles beneath my skin.
My eyes change and my complexion becomes just a little rosier—I move with a different sway in my hips.
I radiate sex.
Not because I am looking to attract the closest male, but because sometimes he becomes the only one who can put out the fire he’s started.
I wish sometimes, that I could simply meet someone, who will be able to supremely f*ck me, in the way I crave and desire, but I know that is a role that just anyone can step into.
I know that what I crave is much deeper than penetration from just anyone.
Because while anyone could probably f*ck my body, not everyone can f*ck my mind.
And this time, that is what I am truly after.
While I may be ripe for the picking, I am not waiting to be picked by just anyone.
Because I know there is someone out there who craves my taste and juices just as much as I crave his and sometimes, some things really are worth waiting for.
Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock