December 18, 2015

Seven Crafts that will help you Hipsters Rock the Apocalypse.

When the world goes to hell because of climate change, here are seven things you’ll need to know.

During the apocalypse, creativity, and resourcefulness will count the most.

I grew up during the 1970s energy crisis. Since then, I’ve watched human influenced environmental degradation evolve into the everyday buzzword—climate change.

So, the the apocalypse has been on my mind my whole life. Scary stuff!

But instead of letting it wreck my nerves, I’ve spent several decades practicing apocalypse survival skills.

In the event that the world goes to hell—I’ll be ready.

Here are my seven favorite apocalypse survival skills.

In the event of societal collapse, due to the apocalypse, immediate survival needs will come first:

1. Water. Fresh water is key to human survival. Without fresh water, a person will die within a few days. We always keep fresh water on hand. Eventually this will run out and we will have to rely on catching the rainwater that falls from the sky. Rainwater catchment is an ancient practice. Because of current water rights laws, it’s technically illegal to catch. But I have studied up on it, just in case. It’s easy.

2. Shelter. Protecting ourselves from the elements is crucial for survival. Hopefully there will still be lots of houses, other buildings, and vehicles to use as shelter during apocalypse. I do have a tent, which is a pretty good house. Worse case scenario, we’ll have to build a simple structure as a shelter. Nature provides countless building materials—trees, caves, mud. We’ll just have to get creative building a shelter.

3. Food. I like to keep a stock of food on hand. I keep a supply of home-canned fruits and vegetables, from the previous year’s garden. If it is winter and we don’t have a supply of preserved food, we may have to rely on hunting small animals. I live a foothills town, so there is a seemingly endless supply of rabbits, squirrels, and raccoons. I’m normally a vegetarian, but in case of emergency, I do daydream about using my slingshot to kill small prey, skinning them, and eating their flesh. In the warmer months, worms are a nice slow-moving source of protein. In the long term, cooking from scratch, growing a garden, hunting and scavenging will be great ways to stay fed.

Since we mostly live in densely human populated areas, I think there will be plenty of packaged food to scavenge—from abandoned grocery stores and houses.

Secondary survival needs:

4. Generate heat. Warm clothes, worn in layers, is a terrific way to maintain our warmth. Practicing yoga is also a terrific way to generate heat, in a pinch. In the longer term, fire is an age-old method to keep ourselves warm. If we don’t have a wood stove or fireplace handy, we can make an outdoor fire or utilize an old oil barrel to build a fire in. Fire serves as a way to cook our food too.

Stacking up bricks in a cube is a fine way to a makeshift oven.

5. Scavenging of raw materials. One benefit of living a consumer driven society is that we all have a lot of stuff. Hopefully many of these material objects will be spared in the apocalypse. Finding the stuff we need will happen on a first come, first served basis. We’ll have to get our hurry on to get the best survival treasures. Skip the shiny objects, as they are now irrelevant. If we happen to have excess booty, we can leave it for some other lucky treasure hunter to discover.

6. Community. Find our friends. Safety in numbers. In times of survival, building a team of capable and hardworking friends can strengthen our position for existence. There will be an endless list of tasks to warrant our basic survival—having a team to share the work with, will be an efficient use of our energy.

“A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong.” ~ Tecumseh

7. Clothing. Humans are naturally naked and vulnerable. Clothing protects us from sun and cold exposure.

Hopefully there will be an abundant supply of clothing to choose from. In my personal wardrobe, I have enough clothes to last me the entire rest of my life. In the event that we don’t have enough clothes, taking care of the ones we have will be essential. We will have to repair our clothes. Skills like sewing, knitting, mending, and shoe repair will come in handy. If we don’t happen to have these types of skills, it’s not too late to practice or we can take our chances that there will be a friendly clothing repair expert to adopt into our posse.

My apocalypse toolkit:

Many five gallon jugs, axe, rope, nails, hammer, well stocked sewing kit, a supply of fabric, yarn, knitting needles, crochet hook, darning needles, shovel, mason jars, slingshot, a barrel, matches, pots, and pans.

“We get so much value from the generations of people who have come before us.”
~ Bradley Albus



“Whoever is doing this Hipster Barbie thing, it’s hilarious.”

Author: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: wikimedia


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