This week the theme is all about letting go of energetic attachments to the people in our life that cause us suffering in any way.
When we talk about letting go, it can sound very final, although, it does not necessarily mean we have to remove people altogether from our lives.
We sometimes place far too much emphasis on staking ownership on people without realizing we are doing it. For example, when we say “my friend/partner/mother,” we are defining them as though they are partly ours. This can make us feel as though that person belongs to us in some way, and we can feel as if they owe us something in return for the time, love or financial efforts we have invested or placed on them.
When we do this we immediately set ourselves up for frustration and disappointment.
The energy currently surrounding us is not only transformational it is also encouraging us to see things with more clarity when we look at our connections to other people.
We may also be noticing other, not so pretty sides, to those we are close to and we may witness unpleasant behaviors rising to the surface if we try to communicate how we feel about this. Confronting this can feel extremely uncomfortable and a little scary at times as we don’t always know how best to deal with this without either losing a friendship or a romantic relationship, however, neither do we want frictional dynamics to continue.
We aren’t always aware where the line should be drawn with loved ones and how much negativity, disagreement or emotional hurt is too much to bear.
However, there is another option…
Rather than allowing the distress to consume us so that it affects us emotionally, we can choose to see ourselves as individual and clearly mark out who and what we are investing ourselves in and what place others have in our lives.
Our mind is very powerful and can make us choose relationships based on familiarity so that we remain in the same situations out of fear of the unknown, however, often what we believe we want isn’t what we need and what we need isn’t at all what we actually want. Therefore, it is essential that we entangle everything we are embroiled in so that we can begin a new way of balancing our lives with the lives of our friends and relationships.
Ending old patterns of thinking does not mean we then have to walk away from friendships or loved ones, it simply means we can deconstruct how we have been interacting so that we can rebuild and construct healthier, happier and more peaceful and genuine connections.
Ultimately, what this means is radically changing how we think about everything and everyone in our lives. Instead of seeing other people as essential and integral in our lives, we can see them as separate beings and entities that exist to forward their own evolution or purpose for being here.
We do not need to hold on to, cling to, or obsessively desire, anyone or anything at all. When we choose to remove emotional attachments, we will see that what remains is precious in its own right and functioning beautifully, and this will encourage us to live free from unhealthy codependent behavior.
Other people will not provide us with true inner happiness or peace. Only we can achieve that when we learn how to believe in ourselves and create a life that is a reflection of how we truly feel on the inside as well as knowing who we actually want to have in close emotional proximity to us.
When we try to let go of attachments we may feel an inner resistance, as our mind will tell us that we should not let go because we might also then feel as though we will lose control and our relationships will fall apart. However, other people operate their lives very separately from our own, even if we coexist alongside them, and the more we try to control someone, have power over them or take something (financial or otherwise), the more suffering we will eventually endure and the less chance the relationship will have from developing and growing with ease.
As we are currently absorbing high frequency energy, unconditional love, gratitude, high levels of compassion and a deep understanding of all fellow beings will naturally permeate our lives. This allows us to release and clear out old energies and resentments that we may have been harboring towards people, due to our own shortcomings, and we can make way for an abundance of new beginnings and new connections with people, mostly through opening up our mind and gaining a new alternative perception.
Many believe that finding love is the be all and end all of our reason for living. We can place such high significance on it that we completely forget about our own soul health and our personal preferences, beliefs and motivations. We can get so caught up in trying to perfect our relationships and wanting to fit neatly into society that we entirely forget what makes us purr at the center of our hearts.
This period is an opportunity to step back and spend a little time getting to know ourselves a little deeper and in doing so we can relax the grip we have on anyone around us. We usually find that we are more involved with other people’s lives, especially when it comes to romance, when our own lives are not fulfilling or we are not achieving stability in love or happiness on our own.
This isn’t to suggest we need to focus on loving ourselves more, of course, that will always benefit us, but what this means is to look at how we try to hold on to other people because we are lacking in areas that satisfy us in our own lives. The greater focus we have on our own existence, the less we will concern ourselves with how others are acting and how they are—or are not—living up to our high and unrealistic expectations.
It is my belief that we put far too much significance on other people and we often think we will be happier if we meet someone who we strongly connect with emotionally, mentally and physically. None of these things will ever generate an abundance of happiness or peace. The only way we will gain sustainable fulfillment is by focusing on what makes our hearts beat wildly and filling ourselves up with everything that adds an element of peace, joy or pleasure to our life.
Although we often hear: “We should fall in love with ourselves before anyone else can love us,” I do not believe this to be true, and I am not championing this way of living here at all. I think if we all waited until we loved ourselves completely, very few of us would actually have found a partnership, or if we had we would have been very fortunate that we just happened to meet upon someone who aligns with our soul.
All people deserve love regardless of what stage of our lives we are in. However, we do all have the power of choice and we can determine if the people we engage with are nourishing, helps us to grow and are mutually respectful.
I don’t believe that we should always just place firm boundaries in place and permanently let go of anyone that we no longer align with. What I do feel strongly about though, is dedicating more time and heart toward relationships that are good for our soul and diverting our emotional attention and dedication from those which are emotionally harmful.
Instead of closing the door on connections and shutting people out of our lives, we can give those who we are not comfortable connecting with a sacred space to exist in our lives, without feeling the need to overly invest time, energy and emotions into the relationship. We can leave the door open for warmth and care to come and go, without feeling we need to be engaging, reacting, responding or connecting regularly in any way.
Basically, we can allow relationships to fall by the wayside by realizing that not everyone who is in our lives is good for us, however, we can do this without resentment and with an open invitation for the connection to be reignited should the dynamics change. This leaves us the freedom and space to pour ourselves into anyone and anything that we love—entirely.
We can set the intention to open ourselves up so that we can rise to a higher vibrational energy and, in doing so, any negativity that is around us will instantly begin to fall away.
When we change how we think and feel about how we have prioritized our connections, relationships of all kinds will either strengthen or they will play themselves out. Whatever really matters to us can take the spotlight and we can fully shine and bask in the glow with whomever else is on a similar harmonious, accepting and unconditionally loving frequency. We can radiate love to all the people we are close to, in the same way we always have, but choose to restructure who, what and where everyone is placed, so that the ones that are highly important to us receive the time, attention and dedication they deserve.
This phase is about loving open heartedly and without conditions. Mainly though, it is about letting go of the expectations we have previously placed so we can all exist harmoniously alongside one another, with each person having the space to grow, blossom and transform within their own right.
Mindful Offering: BLUE BOTTLE LOVE ~ GRATITUDE
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May