September 9, 2016

Why we should Learn to Stay When we want to Run.

Rachel Crowe/ Unsplash


In Mexican culture, to stay is a teaching that transcends through elder’s advice.

A country based on family values, the quality of staying close to family, through out thick and thin, marks the character of the noble.


Perhaps a consequence of alien conquest, inquisition and missionary conversion, but a family that eats together stays together. There is no room for Buddha in the Mexican family tradition. A man or a woman that leaves the family to travel the world in search of meaning and sense of Self, even if the intention at heart is to eradicate suffering, simply makes no sense to the Mexican tradition.

Mexico loves Jesus, the one who stayed and sacrificed in the name of Love. In Mexico, you are raised to stay home, to study, to marry, to have children, to gather over food with family every Sunday, and to take care of your parents as they grow old.

And yes, you travel…as a family.

There are those who study abroad, and those who leave the family only to be able to take care of them. So in reality, a good Mexican “stays.”

The recent visit of the US Republican party candidate to Mexico, by the invitation of the Mexican President, and the reactions it sparked among intellectuals, celebrities, and creative people, pushed me to this meditation about how Mexicans, no matter how well intended, are usually misunderstood by the American culture. You see, in the native traditions, when someone shows animosity towards the community or provokes quarrels between its people, the Shaman summons the provocateur, to a heart to heart encounter.

Now, delusion as it happens, is a projection. And so there go the stories in the news, about “how can you invite someone who has offended you to your home”. Please allow me to change your perspective, or perhaps remind you of what you already know.

It is because that someone has offended you that you invite them “home.” Before you judge them and react to their same ignorance, you try to help them through their suffering, to clear out their confusion, to show them friendship and teach them about peace. In alignment with the Golden Mean, a true leader first reminds the aggressor about all that is good and about all the good qualities that can make a person—or a country.

That being said, how medieval can it get? Between all the positive entrepreneur businesses that could have been discussed between leaders, it was the mediocre idea of building a wall that occupied the conversation of two powerful countries, and the media at large. And what is even worse, is that these two men actually have everyone believing that they are powerful—that they are the Alpha dogs, and that it is up to them to decide how life in the new Millennium is to be lived, in peace.

Really? Medieval.

To stay is as difficult as the breath.

There is always something more interesting than staying in the present moment, as it is. There is always the potential of a new beginning, the expectation of a brand new start.

Those who leave constantly, usually do it in search of the opportunity to re write the story of who they are, to escape the people that remind them of who they have been, or perhaps to keep denying there is a lesson to be learned.

What those of us who constantly leave know, or learn eventually, is that leaving steals you from the opportunity to set roots—which in turn weakens your tree, and seasons go by without sometimes being able to enjoy any fruit. As for us to enjoy Spring, we must endure Winter.

As wisdom has it, eventually we all learn that no matter where you go, there you are.


Author: Yeye

Images: Flickr/Jon Cornwell  ;  Unsplash/Rachel Crowe

Editor: Erin Lawson

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