October 29, 2016

How to Cope with Waking Up Lonely.

Emily Sams Illustration, with permission (https://www.instagram.com/ink.and.earth/)

The grand continent of North America is filled with lone wolves.

Life delegates the business of creation to them, and they diligently leverage their surroundings for survival. The full moon represents the richness of emotion that the wolf pack of one feels.

Where the “lions” of the world feel pride, the lone wolf can only release the tenderness of loneliness through a howl—a long drawn out moan that often comes as no more than a sigh once the dawn breaks.

I understand this all too well, because I am a lone wolf who often wakes up lonely. It’s as if dawn’s break has stopped being a promise for a new day and has become more of a reminder that I bear the responsibilities of life in seclusion.

As a lone wolf, I will share this sentiment with others, but someone who isn’t a wolf will often offer the “solution” of “enjoy being alone.”

Being a wolf holds a special kind of meaning in Native American culture. According to my Spirit Animal Totem Tarot card deck, wolf means intelligence and keen instinct, and wolf is challenged by distrust in self and others. The companion book to my Spirit Animal deck goes on to say, “The wolf is the pathfinder, the forerunner of new ideas who returns to the clan to teach and share medicine.”

So, the first way to cope with being lonely is to view ourself as a wolf. In those moments of solitude, we’re collecting wisdom and medicine to share with the tribe. It has been said that, “Many hands make light work.” And that work gets initiated by the wolves of the world. The ones who learn to clear the clutter so that they can listen to Spirit and trust their guidance. Some call this instinct.

And if we are a lone wolf, the second way to cope is to trust that our instinct has kept us safe thus far—and that it will lead us home. We spend a lot of time making ourselves wrong for who we are. A wolf knows he is not a bear, a bunny or a hawk. Each animal plays its role in the world.

We are lonely. We can cope with it by owning who we are, where we are.

We can always create something different. Wolf packs are known to roam hundreds of miles. If we don’t like where we live, the job we have, the people we associate with, then we can pick somewhere else to be. “Wherever you go, there you are,” so the first place we need to choose to be is in a new belief system.

Loneliness is a judgement against the circumstances we chose long ago. It’s like buying something on credit and then having to pay it off later. So, like a wolf would do, we hunt and gather resources and pay what we can now. We eat what we hunted and if we have no food we hunt for more.

Loneliness is often coupled with entitled feelings like, “I shouldn’t have to hunt; I should just get what I want because I want it.”

All animals have to hunt.

So why are some animals at the top of the food chain while others have to scavenge?

Ask. Prayer and asking questions are the two most effective ways to cope with waking up lonely. Howl your anguish. Ask “Why?” Ask “How?” Ask “What will it take for me to fulfill my destiny?”  Then pray prayers of thanks. Our giving of gratitude opens the doors of receiving in our hearts.

As you pray, set time aside to light candles and hold ceremony in your home or find a place in nature that you can be held by Father Sky and Mother Earth. All the creepy crawly things are your friends. Know that you are a vestal for Creator to be expressed. Your loneliness is signaling the need for a conversation. And prayer is that conversation.

If you don’t know how to pray, then simply journal your thoughts or take a moment to meditate.

Then stand at the precipice of the edge of your creations, gaze over the expanse with your keen eyesight, and envision that which you seek is seeking you. When you howl, you send a signal to your great love, to the experiences you are longing for, and to your great fortune to know where you are in the world. So lift your head, puff your chest, and howl.

Release loneliness and send the signal, “I’m here.”

Then trust your pack is coming for you!



Author: Rebekah McClaskey

Image: Used with permission from Emily Sams

Editor: Toby Israel


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