What better thing to bring us into the moment than skin on skin contact?
My meditation practice has spanned over a decade and a half, and if there is one thing I have learned from daily sitting on a cushion to practice, it is that we must understand how to bring mindfulness into our every day lives.
I believe sex is the perfect medium in which to meditate.
It is a time we carve out of our busy schedules in which we create an opportunity to unwind and connect—two words synonymous with meditation.
So the next time we turn to a dear one and give them that enticing gaze, let’s remember we are opening up a gateway for an experience that can help us become more present.
As we comprehend the act of meditation in sex, it means we make the decision to linger over each other and every moment, rather then fast-forwarding through to the end.
Meditation can remind us that the whole act is what is important, and that the journey is just as sumptuous as the conclusion we hope to get to. The practice of mindfulness is about waking up all of our senses, so that we feel fully alive.
We can do this with sex; it just takes a little practice and slowing down.
Ancient traditions have always seen sex as important. It is the building block for life, but it has also been observed as a spiritual opportunity to evolve.
Tantric sex has been taught for centuries and is very much meditation in motion. It actually means the weaving and expanding of energy.
Many modern people believe that tantra is the taking on of complicated positions to reach a perfect orgasm. But what it was originally meant to do was to raise the powerful kundalini energy inside of us, from our base chakra at our perineum, all the way up our spine to our crown chakra, purifying our body as it goes.
So as we begin to practice meditating with sex, remember, not only is it one of the most pleasurable experiences we could partake in, but it’s also one of the most cleansing. It means that we take our time—that we enjoy each lick, bite and nibble—and that we fully relate to our partner in the present moment, which opens us up for new, exciting experiences in sensuality, rather then pre-programmed ones.
The sexual meditation:
Become aware of our self first. Before we can fully connect with another, we must connect to ourselves. This means we come back into our own body first. We feel our feet on the ground. We notice our breath. We can feel the air on our face and hands—maybe even the sensation of our heart beating. Is it getting faster as we think about what might come next? Observe the building of anticipation and how our body so sweetly responds.
Notice our partner. Now, we observe what is in front of us. Lucky for us, it is that lovely other being. So let’s really see them for a moment. Maybe take their hand, their shoulder, or touch their lips or a wisp of hair, and truly appreciate the beauty of it. This is how we arrive, slowly. Just like we noticed our own breath, we can begin to listen for theirs. What is its speed, its depth, its rhythm? A swoon-worthy way to become intimate before our bodies intertwine is to begin matching our breath with theirs. Notice the heat building…
Unite consciously. As we begin to touch each other more, feel every part of our skin that is coming in contact with theirs. How do our fingertips rub up against certain parts of them? What does our inner thigh feel like wrapped around their back? What does our palm feel like caressing their chest, or our lips on theirs? We learn to sense each touch that we give and receive by taking our time and feeling each movement. In this, we find greater pleasure, for meditation it is about realizing the juiciness of the moment.
There is no conclusion. The best and most tantalizing thing about meditating while having sex is that there does not need to be an ending, as meditation demands no final goal. Eventually, we surrender into each others arms, because we are finally ready to let go—deliciously touch saturated.
Coming back to the present moment in life and in sex is not a new tradition, but I believe we can all benefit from it. A mindful interaction is something sacred, and touching each other intimately is a great way to do it.
When we can experience all that another has to offer, and can give the time to show them the pieces of our own body and soul we would like tenderly revealed, sex becomes an act that transforms and awakens each one of us.
Author: Sarah Norrad
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina