Darling, you could be the most dazzling explosion lighting up the moonlit sky, and still, they’d find a reason to look the other way.
When someone is afraid and needs to run and hide, no force—not even the most magnificent god or goddess in our entire universe—will stop them.
Some go. Some stay.
And the one your heart has chosen doesn’t always stay around for long.
But let me explain, there’s far more to this detachment than meets the eye.
I hear you—and of course this one is rare and truly special. I’ve no doubt the love you experience is real.
They’ve left an impression that you can’t seem to erase, and at times it feels as though it has permanently stained your soul. So you’re determined to discover what this frozen connection holds.
While you’re waiting, grasping at old, frayed rope and anchoring to the undergrowth, you’re losing sight of the reason that you’re here.
This longing, this craving is telling you far more about yourself than it will ever tell you about them.
I know it’s not easy to admit that you’ve been romanticizing, fantasizing, idealizing, tangling and torturing your mind with melancholic memories.
You may have put this person on a pedestal and fallen far more intensely in love with potential than with reality.
I understand—this feeling is unprecedented and quite possibly the most perfect match you’ll ever find. The yin and yang ricochets through you, and although it hurts like hell, it also soothes, calms and harmonizes your soul.
I’m not going to dismiss it. They enchant your midnight dreams, leaving every fiber aching for more.
It’s an un-closed chapter with a billion unanswered questions and what if’s.
But tell me, are you waiting around hoping for transformation and praying that one day they’ll miraculously change?
Are you holding your breath in case they alter and softly whisper the sweet words you are impatiently wishing to hear?
Are you hoping that this time they’ll stay?
And if that’s the case, while you’re pausing your life, your heart is surely going to tumble and crash.
When we hear about surrendering to unconditional love, this is what it means: to create a space where there are no expectations or attachments to the outcome of fearlessly-beaming love.
Please don’t fool yourself into pointlessly thinking that you’re the one who’s not radiant, ready or enough. They likely don’t feel ready yet themselves, let alone able to vulnerably hand fragmented pieces over to another.
When distance appears and their hands turn cold and emotion runs away, try not to internalize it and wrongly believe it means you are somehow worthless or insignificant. You are a stunningly quaint creation with all your quirks and curves.
When they close their eyes, it is not because they don’t want to see you, they just can’t at this moment as your dazzling light shatters and blinds those captivated in the dark.
Please promise yourself you won’t try to filter or fade out.
Set yourself free from the lure of their mysterious labyrinth. You will only spin in circles, hitting dead ends and failing to see the archways out.
Explore your own soul before aimlessly wandering and becoming consumed and lost in the depth of another’s.
You can still hold a space for their return, but try to make sure that place is not an obstacle keeping you from moving forward.
I know this sounds cliché, but if you are meant to co-exist, the two of you will somehow find a way to undo the knotted rope, remove the blockages and inherently sense and know you are gravitating together. But also, not all love is here for us to physically co-exist. Sometimes the essence lingers in the background and the closeness of what is shared never leaves.
Whatever this love is, you deserve to feel alive and breathe without heaviness weighing on that bruised, tired heart of yours.
You aren’t foolish for hoping. It takes great courage and strength to push through the storm when you’re struggling to contain the cutting sensations that separation inflicts.
I’ve come to realize that it matters not whether the love I send out is returned, or even gratefully received. What matters most is that I remember that the way someone loves is not all about me. And the way I love is not all about them.
I’ve learned to refuse to allow how another gives or denies their love to change me, and to never live with regrets. Instead, I’ve vowed that when someone’s love closes, it’s time to dig deeper, to open and explore a little more of my heart.
We’re all wounded and fragile, and some of us are a little stubborn and more scared of feeling than others. The ones that hurt badly just need time to heal, and more importantly they need a lot more love.
Especially when their actions say the opposite.
The unconditional kind of love has never been easy, and being human isn’t either. These soul connections can take us out on a lonely dark road and leave us there stranded, pushing all our buttons to discover where we’ve placed our limits. Then it will break them down one by one.
Time is a man-made concept, so quiet your mind and let that impatient heart settle. Continue loving hard whether they stay or leave.
This is the true test—to still expose our heart in spite of the pain and the craziness.
If love is meant to be, it won’t need their presence, their touch, their words, their charm or their looks, and it certainly won’t need pressure.
It will just be, like a paradox of simple complexity.
Wild and eternally untamed.
Author: Alex Myles
Image: Yoann Boyer/Unsplash
Editor: Nicole Cameron