I often jokingly say my “awkward years” went from ages 2 to 20.
It’s not that far from the truth.
I was awkward. Cute, but awkward. About everything. From making friends to asking for things.
For a while, I looked like a boy, but acted like a shy, soft-hearted girl. I watched life go by in silence, afraid to take part. I was a dreamer, not a doer.
By the time I was 19, I was fat, frumpy, and miserable and had lost hope for my own future.
I weighed at least 215 pounds with a sadness that felt 10 times as heavy.
In 1999, I took a leap of faith—and four short months later I was 50 pounds lighter, happier, in love and en route to create a decade of epic sh*t in my life and career.
So, what changed?
And how did it happen so quickly?
In four months, with no crash diet at all, I ended 17 years of feeling “meh.”
Before I can tell you what did it, I have to tell you why it didn’t happen sooner:
As a kid and teen, I spent an awful lot of time worrying.
About being late, about not having friends, being too fat, unfashionable, not seeing my dad enough, not being good enough at school, not understanding the English TV shows my brother watched (I didn’t speak English until I was 12), not fitting in, not having a boyfriend.
Why all this happened doesn’t matter for our story.
What matters here is that all of that was changeable—100 percent overcome-able.
Change is easy when we stop fighting ourselves.
Here are the tools to changing yourself and your life:
It’s January 6, 1999, and Toronto is about to be shut down by an epic amount of snow. The next day, they called in the army to help. In Canada. Epic Snow.
That day, I’m sitting in the airplane, about to either change my life or give up on a dream.
I’m worried. We have to go. I have a one-way plane ticket to France. This is my one time. The one time I didn’t overthink the how and just went for it.
Waiting for six hours to get de-iced and (finally take off six hours later), that’s when I did the first thing needed to change:
I saw what was possible. I hoped for the best. I believed that everything would work out for me.
It was the start of a four-month adventure where I become an epic-as-sh*t manifestor without knowing it. I emerged happier, thinner, more productive and ready to live life with purpose.
On that trip, I started to journal, obsessively. I documented my dreams, wants, messages from the universe. I “coached” myself. I wondered who I’d become, but didn’t worry about who I hadn’t become.
I learned to reframe everything. I had been a Negative Nelly for a while. On that trip, I made the choice to stop, and be someone else.
I stopped ignoring my inner voice or calling. I stopped caring about what others thought. I started to grow and nurture the person I wanted to be.
And I became her. I breathed in every colour, smell, conversation and lived out loud.
I met a boy. I fell in love. I ate fresh foods and croissants with a smile on my face—and shed all the weight I’d been afraid to lose.
The truth is, I had nothing to hide.
Secret # 3 to change is this:
Stop fighting who you truly are.
You’re here because you’re meant to be a change-maker.
You’re born to make a difference, in some way.
I fought myself for 17 years. I resisted being the joyful, free, happy heart I am. I lost myself worrying about all kinds of crap and expectations. And I lost out on having myself, in my life.
But, when I said, “F*ck all that, I’m just gonna do me, even if no one likes it,” then everything just lined up perfectly.
If you just want the cheat? follow this:
Step 1. Make a big bold ask for what you want.
Step 2. Trust that it’s coming. Believe!
Step 3. Listen and watch for the answers or the evidence.
Step 4. Act on your true desires. Those little nudges? Follow them.
Step 5. When everything works out automagically for you, love and celebrate the snot out of it.
Really, enjoy it! It’s shown up for you, because you have made yourself happen.
Author: Anne-Sophie Dumetz
Image: Author’s Own
Editor: Travis May