I could choose to love her only when our waters are calm,
the sailing smooth and seemingly effortless.
I’m capable of withholding affection and tenderness from her,
if I feel as if they are being withheld from me.
The expectations I create could be impossible for her to meet,
causing me to grow bitter if I perceive that little or no effort
is being made to achieve them.
I can create for myself the kind of perception
that looks for signs of disconnect
and fixates on stories that lead to such.
I could love her with any number of conditions
or from a self-centered and selfish place.
This kind of false love, however, is not the kind I will choose to give.
I want to love her truly,
In a way that causes her to never question whether or not
what she is experiencing is, in fact, love.
Loving her from beyond the walls of my conceived self,
from a place untainted by ego and insecurity,
without a constant need for reciprocation.
A love that seeks to understand her.
Even in times of difficulty,
it will gently instruct me to keep on seeking.
I will choose to remain open,
even when fear may attempt to pull closed the doors of my heart.
My love for her will be my practice.
I will craft and perfect it,
never allowing it to become static.
It will grow and evolve as we do.
And when I may fail at loving her in any of these ways, I will try again.
She is deserving of no lesser kind of love than this,
for hers is the sweetest thing my soul has ever tasted.
It has nourished me in ways I hadn’t known I was deprived.
She is the one.
I see her without the sight of my eyes.
I feel her without the sensation of touch.
I need her while every need is met.
I will choose to love her, in this way, always.
Author: Bianca Saavedra
Editor: Callie Rushton