“You are the love that came without warning; you had my heart before I could say no.” ~ Unknown
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She would have been your everything.
This woman, spun from the golden rays of the sun, whose heart is deeper than the sea—she would have been all yours. Not just for a moment—no, this woman would have been yours forever.
She would have been there with a patient heart, kind eyes, hands that effortlessly create a refuge of peace, and a body that sings for only your touch. She would have practiced grace and been a seductress at night, weaving your stories together with the love that sparked from your lips to hers.
She would have been your everything.
Each dream—each hope of yours—she would have planted in her tender garden, caring for it until its blossoms could be seen by all. She felt your worth with her soul, and she realized that God truly broke the mold when he made you.
She wasn’t naive or in the habit of giving undue praise—she was simply able to recognize all that was special about you.
But for some reason, this woman who would have been everything you’ve ever hoped for—somehow, in the end, she wasn’t someone you could accept for yourself.
You couldn’t follow your heart, because it’s never made sense to your mind—and so, like dandelion seeds in the wind, you cast her away. The saddest thing is that you didn’t do this because you didn’t love her, but you did it because you love her so much.
There will never be another man who is as good for her as you—but that is a sad truth that has never found its way into your heart. And so, instead, it became an excuse for why it should not be you who stands by her side.
However, the reality is—whether you choose her or not—it will still be you.
You have been intertwined with each other, perhaps in a way that is carelessly fated, yet can’t be stopped all the same. She cannot remember ever having a choice, yet it was a decision she had to make, simply because walking away was never an option.
But none of that matters, because the only thing you heard the wind whisper as you walked away was that not only would she have been your everything—but, in truth, she already was.
Somehow, between the reality that escapes our fantasies and nights that taste like laughter and moonlight, she took hold of what you feared she always would—your heart. She delicately stepped in between the cracks and misgivings about expectations, until soft, pink roses began to bloom under her fingertips.
It wasn’t magic—but it was love.
Still, just because there is love, it doesn’t mean that things will work out in the end. She never really was happily-ever-after material. It seems that underneath her succulent touch, new life always sprung up from even the most desolate situations. So perhaps all that she was looking for was a hopeful beginning—one that was ripe with possibility and the promise of all of the adventures yet to come.
She would have been your everything.
She would have been your partner in crime, your lover, your best friend—even your wife—but now, she is nothing at all.
She’s become a stranger who you ignore while you try to forget her memory. She’s become the frost on the window pane and the tracks long forgotten after a winter storm, simply erased from your mind, even before she was gone from your sight.
And the moments between what could have been and what is burn her with the realization that just because it’s love, doesn’t mean it’s meant to stay. She was used to being left behind and overlooked, but what she wasn’t accustomed to was being loved the way you loved her. It wasn’t with diamonds and pearls—yet to her, nothing else was as valuable.
However, even that contributed to her demise, because she never asked for more than you could give. She never confused your life with your love for her—and perhaps, in the end, it came down to the fact that she wanted you to stay true to yourself more than she wanted her own happiness.
There isn’t any doubt about what kind of woman she is—and although her modesty is as tangible as the breeze on a summer day, she still wonders what it is about her that’s so easy to walk away from. Underneath the darkened skies of a thousand stars, she ponders if maybe no one is ever meant to stay—but even that is now partially a lie. Because it’s never been about just anyone, and now it certainly never will be…because it’s really all about you.
Just once, she wants to know what it would feel like to have you.
Of course, there are never any hard feelings, because she loves you much too profoundly to want you to be anything but happy—even if that means forgetting her.
She would have been your everything, but maybe the deepest secret is that she already is. There are a million reasons why we may walk away from our greatest, crazy love—but it’s never because the feelings aren’t there. It’s just that the mind often talks the heart out of what it wants.
So the simple reality may be that she is already your everything—but even that, somehow, seems to not be enough.
“I wish I had done everything on earth with you.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Relephant:
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Author: Kate Rose
Image: Flickr/Hamed Saber; Instagram @svm_amsterdam
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
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