A post shared by #HALFTHESTORY (@halfthestory) on Apr 23, 2017 at 6:15am PDT

As my pointer finger scrolls down my phone screen late at night, I can feel my inner self begin to loose its grip.

I know I shouldn’t make a habit of laying in bed, staring at this little bright screen before I drift away into another world, but I always do.

Instead, I should breathe, meditate, or read a book with inspiration drowning the pages.

But it seems that many of us seem to choose the fantasy world of social media where comparison lives. We lie to ourselves and say we go there for inspiration, to see uplifting journeys of people we may or may not know.

But inspiration shouldn’t leave us feeling less accomplished or more empty and jealous. Inspiration shouldn’t make us sink deeper into our sheets to hide.

It should make us feel alive and fluid in our thoughts. It should help us remember to explore the gifts lying dormant within our deepest layers, because these gifts are healing and brilliant, and can never be replaced or duplicated.

But yet, I keep this torturous routine alive, night after night, like so many of us do.

And it goes something like this:

I see you beautiful woman, executing your flawless handstands, your crow pose, and your Vinyasa flow.

Why did I not stick with yoga longer, harder, and be more serious about it?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, drinking your juice blends every morning, meditating before the sun rises, creating seasonal menus for your Doshas, and eating meals that you picked from your garden.

Why can’t I do better?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, dancing with your sensuality on fire and your body swaying with the grace of a goddess.

Why can’t I move like that?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, traveling the world, doing what you love. Going to festivals, laying on the beach, meeting new people everyday beyond the confines of an office building.

What do you do for money? Why can’t I have that life?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, the writer with 12,000 followers.

What am I doing wrong? Why don’t people want to follow my writing? How do you even get that many followers?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, constantly talking about astrology, moon gatherings, and ancient rituals.

How do you hold so much knowledge?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, taking pictures with your lover all over the world. The one you said you manifested because you loved yourself enough.

Where is my soulmate?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, gathering a community of like-minded individuals. Creating retreats, workshops, and events.

Why can’t I garner that much of a following?

I could be her.

I see you beautiful woman, saying good-bye to your nine-to-five job and creating your own business.

When will I align with that kind of life?

I could be her.

We have become trapped in the stories of others. Their paths, goals, and accomplishments have become our illusions of unworthiness. These stories have become a sickness of comparison that leaves us stalemated within our own power.

We sit, we become envious, and we suffocate our own light within self-pity.

A society so focused on time and age has made us feel as though we are running out of time, that it is too late for our dreams to become realities.

We have forgotten that there are enough resources and opportunities on this planet for all of us. We don’t allow the mastery and wisdom within us to surface, because we have made an illusion grounded in fear of the leader.

Will we succeed and become her?  Absolutely not.

Because we were never meant to be her. We are each here to bring our own desires to life, to see them unfold, in real time.

This bright screen of an illuminated illusion is no longer pushing us forward. This machine has been given too much power, and it is time for us to take it back.

For on the other side of that screen, fantasy and reality are two different things. Everyone has a shadow self; everyone deals with pain, disappointment, heart-ache, and some kind of insecurity. We are all on this constantly evolving wave called life.

We cannot be in bliss all the time, but we can sure as hell try to be by following our own dreams.

It is the bounce back after disappointment that is the most important. It is the love we have for ourselves that makes us the powerful creators beyond those bright little screens.

It is true what they say: Comparison is the thief of joy. It helps drive the illusion that everything we seek in the hopes of finding happiness is outside of ourselves.

Be your own bright light of inspiration before you go to sleep at night. Share gratitude with the world for what you have already created.

And watch how the world changes around you.

~

~

Author: Britt Johnson
Image: @halfthestory/Instagram
Editor: Callie Rushton