May 10, 2017

Oh, Hey Ivanka. Go F*ck Yourself.


*warning: well-deserved cursing ahead!


Oh, hey Ivanka.

For the record, I’ve never met one woman who doesn’t work 18 hours a day—most days—so go f*ck yourself, k?

Your new book, Women Who Work, offends me. The stupid title of the book alone insinuates that there are women who don’t work.

Do you know who works really hard? That 16-year-old Chinese girl in your factory overseas—the one making your hideous, plastic pumps and your polyester dresses. The one whose parents were disappointed that she was born a girl. The one who hasn’t had a break yet, and gets paid $62 a week. The one who can’t “make time for a massage,” or self-care.

Do you know who else works until her feet swell up? That 44-year-old waitress who just had a legal abortion because she’s got two kids in high school, and she’s done delivering children. And, quite frankly, she can’t afford to raise another one, and (gasp!) she actually doesn’t want to have another child—and neither does her husband. 

And do you know who else? That CEO who had her ass slapped and pinched 100 times on her way up the corporate ladder. The one who was called a bitch for being assertive, and was insulted by your blobfish father on television because, according to him, she’s not even close to a “10” and therefore unworthy of his—or any man’s—attention. 

Ivanka, guess who else continues to work through chronic, daily exhaustion? Every last knuckle-dragging, eye-bagged mother in America raising the next generation.

Your silly book is about marketing yourself as some sort of grand feminist iconYour pathetic attempt to align yourself with women’s progressive issues is for Ivanka Trump branding purposes only and most of us aren’t buying the bullshit you’re trying to sell us—not your clothes, your book, your alternative facts about the realities of a woman’s plight for equal rights and affordable child care, and certainly not your delusional ideas about how to help us “women who work” juggle everything in our lives. Nice try, Ivanka, but no. We see right through you, and we’re not having it. 

The rights that women are hanging onto by a thread in 2017 were fought for tooth and nail—with blood, sweat, and tears. Not by me, and certainly not by you. The women who went before us were beaten and jailed for wanting the same rights afforded to men. They were silenced, shamed, and humiliated. Nevertheless, they f*cking persisted for the sake of women like you and me. But, your dear old bloatedgolfer daddy is feeding those hard-won rights into his golden shredder, one by one. When he macerates our rights, and signs sweeping executive orders that hurt millions of women, he is driving home the patriarchal message that women will always be “less than” and we will never get to play on a level field. We are second class citizens, “unworthy” of equality.

Don’t you get it?

He’s proven time and again to be a Class A misogynist—plain and simple. And yet, we’ve yet to hear one progressive, feminist statement from you.

And now, he and the GOP have presented a health care bill that essentially bellows to America that being born a woman is, in itself, a pre-existing condition that may be penalized by state government and greedy insurance companies. For some reason, the GOP thinks that corporations will put their profit interests aside, and simply “do the right thing” by women.

If this bill passes the Senate, we will live in a country where rape, C-sections, and domestic violence can be considered by states and insurance companies to be pre-existing conditions—and if a woman has been raped, physically assaulted, or had a C-section, her premiums could conceivably inflate to an unaffordable point (a point that will keep her and her family poor forever) or she could be denied coverage altogether because she is now considered “high risk.”

Good times for women, huh Ivanka?

You’re a book-writing feminist now, correct? This is the image you are promoting these days, yes? Do you have anything to say yet? Any tips? Hello?

Well, here are real tips for women:

>> Ladies, try not to be raped at any point in your life. And if you are, it’s best not to report it. Don’t report your black eyes and bruises either. If you do report your assaults, health insurance executives will need to “review” whether or not to continue to provide you with coverage because their profits might suffer as a result of your suffering. Coverage for you is risky business, ladies.

>> Oh, and try really, really hard not to have a C-section. If you do have a C-section you may need to limit your family to one child since your premium may go up so high that you will not be able to afford to deliver another child. And if you get pregnant and are considering abortion (because you just can’t afford another C-section), good luck finding a clinic or any resources to help you with your decision.

Ivanka, your father has declared war on women and your shiny, lacquered lips remain tightly shut. Honestly, what gives? You didn’t grow up in the 1800s, so honestly, what the f*ck gives?

As long as you stay silent, you are no feminist. You are not pro-women, or pro-family, or even pro-life. You are not an advocate.

Ivanka, you are, at best, a complete co-conspirator with the dripping blood of millions of women on your hands. 

And you are not someone who should be writing “self-help” books filled with tips and skills for “women who work.” You make me sick. Go “make some time” for yourself because you have a “great team” in place. Excuse me while I barf into my purse.

Get yourself dolled up for your “date” with Jared while “women who work” in this country (and abroad) rub salve into their wounds, cover up their bruises, and have yet another sleepless, anxiety-ridden night.

Oh, and go f*ck yourself.

*Please excuse my colorful language. #sorrynotsorry


Author: Kimberly Valzania
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Editor: Leah Sugerman

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