Whether Astrology is science or magic, we’re open to most things, if they may be of benefit. ~ Ed.
You may be perfectly happy being single.
Many of us are not interested in a committed partnership. The single life can be pretty awesome after all.
But many of us do want to find a loving relationship. When faced with the question of why we’re still single, we may be tempted to blame circumstances, or others. We may tell ourselves things like:
“I keep meeting men who are commitment-phobic.”
“I seem to meet women who are totally self-absorbed.”
“Most men are liars, cheaters, or abusers.”
However, as an astrologer, when a client comes to me after years of singledom to figure out why they’re still single, I have to remind them to look in the mirror. As hard as it may be to face up to, the common denominator is always ourselves.
Top 10 Reasons for Sustained Singledom.
- Isolation. We don’t put ourselves in environments or situations where we can meet new people.
- Fear of Intimacy. We are afraid to be vulnerable because we may end up hurt or betrayed.
- Choosiness. To help ensure we do not find a serious relationship (and therefore never get hurt), we are hyper-critical of everything about everyone, which basically guarantees that no one will ever be right for us.
- Being Stuck in a Routine. We fill our lives with work routine and the same friends and activities and don’t leave any time to focus on meeting someone for a relationship with the intention or energy we’d have if we were looking for a job.
- Unrealistic Standards. We often have a list of the qualities the other person must have in order for us to get to know them. If they don’t have each and every one of those qualities we have no interest in getting to know them.
- Defensive of our Hearts. We’ve been hurt and have to protect ourselves from falling in love again.
- Unhealthy Attractions. We have a psychological attraction to romantic partners who are unhealthy for us.
- Low Self-Esteem. We are so wounded that we don’t think we are worthy of a loving, healthy relationship.
- Not Ready. We may have ended a relationship and need time to refresh ourselves and process our experience before we are ready to meet someone new.
- Freedom. We love the freedom of being single and not tied to a monogamous relationship.
If we are truly interested in finding a serious love relationship, it may be time to think outside the box to find out why we have not met our Prince or Princess Charming.
Our Horoscopes may hold Answers
In my astrological consultations I meet with lots of single people who sincerely want to find a wonderful love relationship, get married (or commit in other ways), and build a life with someone. Many of them are frustrated that after dating for so long and having numerous relationships, they still haven’t found the “right” person. In fact, I frequently get asked, “How come it’s so hard for me to find the right guy (or gal)?”
Of course, their personal birth chart usually reveals some interesting things.
When the planet Saturn transits our 7th House of Marriage and Partnership, we may find the answer to the question of seemingly everlasting singledom.
When Saturn affects our Relationship House we get in touch with the limitations and restrictions that may be prohibiting us from finding the right relationship. In our attempts to find “the one,” we may have made some mistakes in the way we’ve gone about it. Now is when we can ask ourselves what those might be.
Saturn’s presence is there to help us re-evaluate changes we can make that will allow a love relationship to come into our life. If we spend too much time by ourselves, perhaps it’s time to get out of the house and socialize with others. If we are so critical of others that no one seems interesting, maybe it’s time to meet different people—or reevaluate our standards. Or, maybe it’s time to come to terms with whether we actually want a romantic partner in our life. Saturn is there to encourage some of the change that may help us get what we want.
If we have been dating someone exclusively, seeking a long-term relationship, this can be a serious and intense time of deciding whether to move into a more committed love relationship in the form of marriage or living together. Or, it may be time to get realistic and recognize that we are not in the kind of relationship that will lead to the long-term commitment we want.
Saturn’s message is: review and re-evaluate your relationships (or lack thereof).
Looking for the Perfect Mate
Saturn brings realism and practicality to the affairs of the heart. If you’ve been frustrated in your attempt to find a special love relationship, you need to make an honest assessment of yourself and your attitude toward the romantic prospects you’re meeting. One question to ask, “Am I too picky and critical when it comes to selecting a potential mate?”
If your answer is yes, then it may be time to be more accepting of yourself and your own imperfections. By doing so, you’ll be more likely to accept the imperfections in another person. This will allow you to make an adjustment from what may be unrealistic standards to ones that are more reasonable and attainable. You’ll suddenly open up the field of relationship possibilities and find it far easier to meet partners who are potentially wonderfully compatible mates.
Saturn’s transit to your 7th House is an opportunity for you to take responsibility for your inability to find a suitable partner. Its energies are grounding and help ready you to look honestly at the issues that may have adversely affected your ability to have a satisfying relationship. You then have the opportunity to make any necessary adjustments. Are there any changes you want to make in your relationships and partnerships that might help you find the love relationship you want?
If you want to know where your personal transits are, and find out if you have any in the 7th House that are affecting you now, use my Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. You may find out that Saturn, or other personal transits, are bringing change to your relationships right now.
Author: Larry Schwimmer
Editor: Khara-Jade Warren
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
Social Editor: Waylon Lewis