January 6, 2018

How to be a Sexy Beast.

Oh hey there, man. I know you aren’t trying to be sexy, but you are.

Because sexy is as sexy does. And, being sexy is easy for you it seems.

You’ve created and honed a life for yourself. You seem to love your life and yourself enough to say no. And you say it with conviction. Saying “no,” or “no more,” or “not for me,” is about the sexiest thing a person can do.

It shows me that your time is important to you. You’re not a waster. You don’t sweat the small stuff, and you’re clearly at home with yourself. You’re not out there desperately looking for the next cool “thing” to fulfill you. You already know what that is.

You ride an old, well-cared for bicycle. You love it the same way you love your trusty old T-shirt, the one you are usually wearing when good things happen. You take care of your special things, the things that mean something to you.

And I see you loving up on those animals. You love them, and that’s sexy. You stop to talk to dogs. You bend down and talk to them and look them in the eye. You scratch them in all the right places and they love you back. You’re the guy who always ends up with the cat on his lap. Because cats know. They just do.

I see you taking your sister’s baby and walking away with him to show him stuff. To point things out. I see you tossing your other sister’s five-year old every which way in the pool. I see you making her giggle and squeal. You’re the cool uncle, and being the cool uncle is damn sexy. You give little children and animals your attention and protection, and that’s about as sexy as it gets.

You’re assertive, not aggressive. You don’t say stupid things. You don’t try too hard to be funny. You might tell an edgy joke, but it’s never too risky, or dirty, or off-putting. It’s never gross or distasteful. You know not to cross the line, because you’re a respectful guy.

You’re a great friend, too. You’re the one who isn’t getting too drunk at the bar or the party. You’re the one who pulls your drunk a-hole friend (who isn’t sexy at all by the way) from the melee and gets him out of a mess just in time. You’re the voice of reason, the one who drives him home and checks on him in the morning.

And, it sure helps that your Levis fit perfectly. Not too loose, not too tight. They kind of hug your hips. Your body isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty close. You work out a little, that’s for sure, but it’s not your whole life. You don’t stare at your muscles in the mirror. You don’t spend hours at the gym. You don’t spray on a tan. You would rather be walking on a trail with your dog than in a gym making veins appear in your neck while grunting and groaning and sipping protein shakes.

You kind of know how to dance. Sort of. At least you try. You’re not afraid to get your groove on, and even though you look a little silly, and your hips swivel in an awkward way, and your grin is goofy as hell, it’s somehow the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. You’re sexy because you’re having fun and you don’t care how you look. You’re comfortable in your skin. And you dance with all the grandmas. It freakin’ melts my heart when you do that because you know it’s important. You know that grandmas need to get their groove on too, and the fact that you know…well, that is sexy.

You’re not the best cook in the world, but damn it, you try. You do, however, make delicious coffee. You have a solid understanding of the ratio.

You’re the one people go to for advice. Your opinion means something.

You’re the smart one. You’re a thinker. You knew the answer to that question at trivia night last Saturday and it knocked all our socks off and put us in the lead. You read. You retain. Smart is beyond sexy.

And, you kiss with your eyes first and then with your whole body, not just your lips. You make me feel wanted, and therefore you make me feel sexy, too. Feeling sexy is wonderful. You nuzzle. You get right into the neck, and man it destroys me.

You have no problem apologizing when you’ve done something wrong. You know that mistakes don’t make you weak. Owning your mistakes makes you strong.

You know who you are. You know what you like, and what you want. You’re confident. You don’t play pretend. Oh, I certainly like what I see, but your sexiness somehow comes from the inside.

But the thing that really strikes a chord, the one thing we all see that makes you a sexy beast? You’re happy. Your happiness shines through. We see it in your eyes, we see it in your smile, we see it when you hold a baby, and we see it when you talk to your dog. We see it when you earnestly try to make a Bolognese and it comes out just okay. We see it when you lead the grandmas out onto the dance floor for some laughter and fun.

It’s actually quite simple.

Sexy is about being genuine.

You don’t have to try. You just are.


Author: Kimberly Valzania
Image: Crazy Stupid Love/YouTube
Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Copy Editor: Travis May

Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Kimberly Valzania  |  Contribution: 125,875

Relephant Reads:

See relevant Elephant Video