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January 16, 2019

All the things I want to do

Till very recent I thought there were things I needed to do to sustain myself, to feel fulfilled however it has been a sheer epiphany where I’ve realised that all the things I thought I needed to do are just things I really want to do. 

Like so many of us I’ve loved and lost. Fell down, got back up again. Repeatedly. Infinite times. 

Having experienced multifaceted trauma at a young age, I couldn’t do so many things I wanted to do then. 

Now as I turn 30 I still haven’t done so many things on my list. 

 I don’t even have a clear list. 

But some of the things I really want to do include pretty much a little bit of everything! 

Yes, I want to do everything. 

I want to study law. I want to finish writing my PhD thesis. I want to work for the UN. I want to write a book. I want to endlessly write. I want to endlessly read. I want to direct a movie. I want to be featured in my own movie. I want to make music. I want to become a professional singer. 

I want to do corporate, I want to do arts. I want to do me and I want to do what so many others dream of. I want to give back. 

I want to do it all. 

I don’t need to. I never did. 

I want to. 

And perhaps I will, all of it, one by one, slowly and gradually. Or maybe not so slowly. 

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