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January 31, 2019

I Am Not Your Bandaid (Poem)

Just let me give you one orgasm


He says


As his right hand pulls at the front of my pants

His left arm wrapped around the arch of my back, pulling me closer to his skin

As I try to scoot away.


We can’t


I’ll say back


But my resolve is weak

And his mouth is strong

So I release against it


Twenty times

Not just one.


I wish I hadn’t done that


I’ll think for far too long after the fact.

Because I didn’t know he would play me,

Not like that.


I was looking for love

And he knew it too


I was looking for a connection

And he used me to keep his pain warm

To drown his sorrows in my flesh

Burry his heartache in my heart.


I did not ask for him to give his pain to me,

But still, these days my reflection looks more like him than I’d like.



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