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January 31, 2019

Marriage is Not a Good Enough Reason to Stay

Maybe I am cynical

Maybe you’d call me a pessimist
I’ll start by saying I’m not
But I just don’t believe a marriage is a good enough reason to stay
If you are weak in the heart
From a lack of love
An avoidance of need
A drought in connection
I just don’t believe a marriage is a good enough reason to stay
If the presence has gone
The commitment is burden
And the work to be done is left untouched
By one side or all
I just don’t believe a marriage is a good enough reason to stay
So maybe I am cynical
Just a bit
Over matrimony
But a loveless marriage
That you feel indebted to
Is no marriage at all
Give me a marriage of the heart strings
Of fingers intertwined on top of bed sheets
We can fight later, let’s hold each other now
For life is short and love can be sweet if we let it
Give me a marriage of the mind waves
Of the thought trains
Of laughter ringing throughout the home hallways
Give me a best friend
Not a ring mate
I can fight my own battles
And even still; they shouldn’t be against you
So maybe I am a pessimist
When the divorce rate is fifty one percentages too high
And we are raised to rush in when it feels right
Where are the caution signs
The yellow lights
When it comes to borrowing a heart?
A beating red muscle housed in the body of your lover
Where is the ethic of care
When it comes to asking for someone else’s life force?
To rush in, is romanticized
And dangerous
Give me the slow burn
A deep yearn
Of a well tended fire
We don’t need to take out a forest with our love
We just need to feel comfort
And I find no comfort in a heart so willing to rush
I find a red flag instead
So maybe I am cynical
And maybe you want to know what in the hell happened to my heart
Irresponsibility happened to my heart
And I wouldn’t change a thing
Because now I know that a marriage is not a good enough reason to stay
If it eats your soul
Or leads your dreams astray
And I am wrecked over the good hearts that feel trapped inside a love they do no longer own
But guilt will keep them chained to someone else’s dream-
Not their own
You have one life to live that we are certain of
One heart
A glorious capability to love
And all the experiences you choose to open yourself up for
And even though we have these things
We are not promised a tomorrow
Time is not a luxury you’re afforded
And when you gamble on someone else’s love
You’ll seldom be rewarded
So in case you needed it
In case you’ve spent far too long digging for a justifiable excuse
Let it be this:
A marriage alone is not a good enough reason to stay.
A marriage is more, and when it’s not- you walk away.
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