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March 23, 2019

The Toxic Tango of the Empath & the Narcissist

The toxic tango starring the narcissist and the empath has been one that more and more people have been becoming aware of. This destructive dynamic seems to have become a common entanglement that many individuals have been struggling to free themselves from. Yet to be free of it, one must first address why it manifested in their life and the valuable lessons it can bring.


In the relationship between the narcissist and the empath, there is a very imbalanced power dynamic. Typically the narcissist is the one holding the reigns of power – able to control the emotions of the empath. Empaths are typically big-hearted people. They feel deeply. They want to help, to bring healing where needed. Empaths have the ability to embody a great amount of compassion. They also can have issues with healthy boundaries, discernment, and embodying their own empowerment. Enter the narcissist.




Narcissists tend to feed on the energy of others – quite often attracted to people with “loose” boundaries, weakened self-esteem, and big hearts that want to love and help whenever possible. Narcissists are known to charm and “love bomb” the empath in the early stage of getting to know each other. This behavior can secure attraction and trust from the empath. Some narcissists will prey on the compassionate side of the empath by playing the role of someone who needs their care, healing abilities, help, etc. Once the bond is set is the insidious energy sucking can begin. Mind games, control tactics, degrading the confidence of the empath, gaslighting, and abuse, are all common examples of narcissistic behavior.

As painful and debilitating this relationship can be, it is important for the empath to realize it also serves a purpose. The narcissist is a powerful teacher. This “teacher” comes into one’s life to show them that there is a need for growth and healing. If the empath can come to that realization, and gather the strength to face what needs healing and changing within themselves, they can find freedom from the entanglement, develop empowerment, and move on to attract healthy relationship dynamics.




The relationship between the narcissist and the empath relates primarily to the energies of the sacral and solar plexus chakras. The sacral chakra or energy center is the second chakra in the line up of our seven bodily-based chakras. It is located in the pelvic region, below the navel. It relates to sensuality and sexuality, creativity, feelings and emotions, money, balance, boundaries, addictions, and partnerships – especially romantic and sexual partnerships. This chakra develops or matures within us between the ages of 8 and 14. The circumstances and events of our personal lives between the years of 8 and 14 greatly affect the vibration and energy of the sacral chakra. The solar plexus chakra is the third chakra and is located above the navel in the area of the upper abdomen. This chakra develops between the ages of 15 and 21, and relates to lessons of self-esteem, ego, will, personal power, choice, and confidence.

Traumas, sexual or physical abuse, painful experiences, unhealthy family life, and other events that could cause painful memories or emotions can have a serious effect on these energy centers, and also can leave imprints that we are unaware of. Later in life, as adults, we may manifest relationships and circumstances that are attracted to us through the unhealed energies of the chakras. This is how the narcissist can become the teacher. This relationship dynamic can show us that healing is needed in the chakras, in our emotional body, our sexual center, and so on.




We need empaths. The empath is a healer, a great love giver, and one who can bring great compassion. In a world with so much hurt and suffering we need as many helping, loving, healing souls the universes can muster. The empaths have been showing up, yet many of these sensitive souls are wounded healers – disconnected from their true empowerment and purpose. This is why they attract the narcissist. They attract reflections and lessons in accordance with where they need healing. Once the empath heals and embodies empowerment, they hold a mighty ability to create great change in the world. It is then that they can become great lights shining the way out of darkness.




There are definite steps and methods for healing the chakras and our lives, gaining freedom from entanglements with a narcissist and manifesting true empowerment. I have been working with others to help them through this process. I offer guidance and support with methods for healing. Contact me if you are interested in scheduling a session or have any questions. My prayer is that all beings may achieve true health, divine sovereignty, and empowerment.



Zahrah Sita is a Transformational Health & Life Coach, Empowerment Catalyst, Health Educator, Writer, and Retreat Specialist. Zahrah lives in the US and Costa Rica where she leads Healing Programs, Internships, and Retreats. She offers Online Coaching Sessions, Health Consultations, Personalized Healing Programs, and Guided Cleanses at

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