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I’ve always been a firm believer in the one, and as clichéd as it may sound, it always gave me hope.
It wasn’t so much that I was waiting to meet that one person who would set my world on fire, but more that I was waiting to find someone who would give me that feeling of coming home.
Someone who made me feel as though I was safe, I was secure, and above all else, that I was free to be the most unfiltered, authentic version of myself.
And the day I met my own soul mate, those are the exact feelings he gave me. It felt as though I’d always known him, and I could no longer imagine a life where he wasn’t right by my side.
A friend once told me that you either meet someone who stimulates you sexually, or you meet someone who stimulates you mentally, but you never get both. While I believe that some relationships are passionate affairs with very little else, it is possible to have both. It may not be the red-hot sex portrayed in films, but when you connect with someone spiritually, you connect physically, too.
The idea of a soul mate, however, isn’t just about one specific person.
While your true love and soul mate will be one soul, you will likely meet many other soul mates on your life’s journey who you will connect with deeply. People who will impact your life, teach you lessons, and who will inevitably always hold a place in your heart—these are the four types of soul mates you’re likely to meet.
The first soul mate:
The first-time soul mate is something we all experience when we enter the dating world.
We’ve all had a “first love” who was our insight into what it feels like to be in a relationship. For some of us, our first experience of love is fleeting, and for others it can last much longer, but one thing is for sure: it almost never works out.
Some people are incredibly lucky to meet their first love and soul mate at the same time, but this is rare. For the majority of us, we have nothing to compare this love to, and so we feel as though it will last forever, but it generally does come to an end. But not before delivering some powerful lessons, such as heartache.
This first-time love is not your soul mate, but the lessons that you learn from this relationship will be carried with you throughout the rest of your life.
My first relationship happened at 16—an impressionable age—and the idea that you’ve met your soul mate is charming, albeit incredibly naive. I was in love with the idea of love, and yet I knew that I wasn’t with the person I was destined to be with.
But this, and my next relationship that came after, taught me vital life lessons. I recognized my worth as a person, and what I wanted from life and love. After this, if a relationship no longer served me, I gained the confidence to leave it.
The passionate soul mate:
The passionate soul mate is similar to a no strings attached relationship. While I don’t buy into the belief that you either have great sexual chemistry with a partner or a great emotional bond, it is possible for a relationship to be based on sex.
These types of relationships won’t morph into anything long-term, but they can be meaningful for the short period of time that you experience them. They can be a first-time love, they can even be an affair, but while these types of soul mates inevitably have an expiration date, they can leave an imprint on us that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.
Relationships based on passion and sex not only teach us about ourselves, they can also have meaningful lessons further down the road. While we ultimately know it’s a relationship based on physicality, deeper feelings can manifest as you both acknowledge just how much the other person taught you. Therefore, this type of soul mate can last a lifetime, even if the romantic elements come to a halt as you begin to crave more than a physical connection.
The platonic soul mate:
The platonic soul mate is something that we all have, or have had, at some stage in our lives—a bond where we feel we can share our innermost thoughts and emotions, without romantic feelings involved.
We can open up and be ourselves around these people because they’re someone we connect with deeply. A platonic soul mate goes further than just a friendship, it’s someone who you may not speak to every day. In fact, weeks, if not months and occasionally years, will pass by, but whenever you do speak or meet up, it’s like you pick up wherever you left off without any awkwardness.
This type of soul mate is likely to be a lifelong friend, even if life gets in the way and you speak less. This type of friendship can be rare, so treasure it if you’re fortunate to find a soul mate in a friend.
The other half soul mate:
The other half soul mate is the person who allows you to be your true self, who not only accepts you for being you, but who loves you for it, too.
When you’re with the person you’re destined to be with, they don’t shed light on your insecurities—in fact, they make them go away. You’ll find you’re so happy and content in this relationship because they not only bring out the best in you, but together, you make one another even happier.
I was single for almost five years before meeting my partner. I’d overcome depression and was steadily getting my life back together when my friend messaged me and said, “I have the perfect man for you. I’d love to set you up.”
I was intrigued and extremely curious, yet I didn’t have high expectations. While I’ve always known I would one day meet my soul mate, I’ve never felt the need to date for the sake of it.
Three days later, I’d spoken to my now partner nonstop and we had an immediate intense bond, so much so that we’d already said I love you before even meeting face to face. Although I was at my most self-conscious, having suffered with depression for five years and was only just gaining back my confidence, I agreed to meet him and the rest, as they say, is history.
Not only did he make me feel accepted, flaws and all, he made me feel beautiful—these were feelings that I’d never felt before. But above all else, the sense of familiarity was what stood out; it felt as though I’d known this person for a lifetime before meeting him, and I just knew, deep within my body, that this man was who I was meant to meet, meant to fall in love with, and who I was meant to build my life with.
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