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Although society is telling us to be cute little kittens—to purr softly and jump quietly—it’s our time to f*cking roar like the lionesses we are.
It’s time to speak our truth.
It’s time to express all the stories, ideas, and needs contained in our beautiful brains and bodies that are ready to be freed.
It’s time to show the love locked in our untamed hearts, and to let out the feelings rumbling our bones.
In my energy healing work, I see women all the time who come to me feeling imbalanced or “off,” overwhelmed, unsure, and frustrated. When I assess their energy centers in their bodies, I find the energy around their throat stifled or blocked.
There seems to be a pattern of profound fear and hesitancy to speak about our feelings, needs, desires, dreams, stories, love, and so on. But, why? Why do we as women feel we don’t deserve to speak? To express ourselves?
It’s not serving us. It’s making us feel frustrated, unloved, unsure, angry, and uninspired.
The truth is, we are causing ourselves to feel this way, no one else.
Yes, we have conditioning and a long history of society suppressing us, but it’s our choice to rise and to roar. By not speaking our truth and our feelings, we are keeping ourselves small. We are not getting our needs met because we are choosing to listen to fear instead of what we truly need. Because when the people we surround ourselves with love us, they will respond. They will give us what we want and need if we ask. But, we need to ask. We need to speak. To use our words and our voice.
It seems simple, right? But, it’s not. It’s damn scary.
What if we ask and we actually get exactly what we want? What if we get the job or raise we deserve? Or what if we ask for help when we need it? Then, maybe we would be happier, we’d feel more fulfilled and balanced. And what if us mothers get the help we need with our children and ask for the time we need for ourselves to do the things we love? Then, maybe we wouldn’t feel trapped in our home or in our mothering. We could make time to go out and fill ourselves up doing what we love. Or just simply enjoy a cup of coffee in the park without our little ones crawling on us.
I’m a single mother of an 11-month-old son. When I was pregnant with him, I was terrified that I would lose myself in motherhood—that I would feel trapped. I didn’t want to lose all my independence and time to do the things I loved, like writing. And I was afraid that I wouldn’t get the help I needed and I would have to do it all myself. I had so much anxiety that it was causing me to not enjoy my life or get excited about the little bundle of joy on his way to me.
I knew something had to change. So, I sat with all these feelings and tuned in.
I asked myself, “What am I feeling? What is this anxiety telling me? Why do I feel trapped? What do I need to not feel this way? What can I do?”
What I realized was that I needed to ask for what I needed. It was up to me.
At first, asking was hard. And it took me time to build up the confidence to ask, and ask again. But what I learned after I did it a few times was that people love to help, my loved ones especially. I’ve found they genuinely would like to know how they can assist in my happiness. Slowly, over time, I’ve built up a tribe of people around me who enjoy watching my son and I don’t worry about being trapped anymore.
Speaking up and asking for what I need has helped me to be a happy mother living a life I love because I learned to use my voice and eventually roar.
I want this for all women.
We all deserve to be happy and living the life we want. But, if we want it, we need to ask. Let’s not feel ashamed for wanting to leave the house or get a better job. Let’s show our children what it takes. Let’s show them how to use their voices too. It starts with us.
Our voice may start as a whisper, and it might shake and tremble, but with practice, we can roar.
A helpful practice is to start journaling how we feel and what we need to say. Not sure how we feel or what we need? Then, start by sitting quietly, listening, feeling, and asking ourselves just that. Honor whatever comes up, and thank ourselves for the information.
Once we listen deeply and figure out our feelings, wants, and desires, we can say it out loud to ourselves. Once we start feeling that power behind our words, we can then slowly gain courage and say it to our loved ones or to those who need to hear it.
Meditating and asking for guidance on how to say it best helps too. Or, call up your best girlfriend or your mom and ask them first. And remember: it’s okay to f*ck it up and say the wrong thing sometimes, or to say it the wrong way. With practice, we will get better.
In using our voice to speak our feelings, needs, and desires with confidence, while feeling grounded in our power, we are clearing out old stuck energy in our body and activating ourselves with more positive energy, which naturally gives us a more balanced sense of overall well-being.
Using our voice and speaking up for ourselves on a daily basis makes us feel powerful—because we have the power to create the life we love through our voices.
Most of my life, I’d blamed my partner and my parents for not giving me what I need, as if they were mind readers. I also felt as if I shouldn’t speak up. Growing up, I never heard the women around me speak up for what they truly needed or wanted either. It was the norm to play small and push their needs aside, surrendering to the patriarchal ideals that we women should give up ourselves for our men, that we should be quiet, gentle kittens, instead of the roaring lionesses we truly are.
But not anymore, my dear women. We need to speak.
Let’s stand in our power, rooted into the earth, and declare exactly what it is we want.
The world needs to hear us. We are worth it. Let’s show off our beautiful lioness selves—let’s roar!
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