Fifteen things I need my daughters to know:
1. Everything that happens in life is a lesson.
I wish I could spare you any heartbreak or pain—but unfortunately you need that, too. We are here to learn. Every step along the way prepares us for the next. You need the bad days to truly appreciate the good ones. However, I do want you to be able to look at whatever negative situation you are in and ask yourself, what is this trying to teach me?
2. You can be both soft and strong.
I want you to be strong—physically, mentally, and emotionally. I also know that you have a heart like mine. You are already caring and sensitive. I want you to stay sweet and loving, but I don’t want you to let anyone take advantage of you.
Not everyone has the same heart as you. You will save yourself a lot of pain if you understand this. This is one I hope you don’t have to learn the hard way.
3. Do not let your beauty define you.
You are already absolutely stunning. I honestly can’t believe I created such perfection. Do not let that go to your head. It’s much more important to be intelligent, to have a great sense of humor, and to be kind. People will always underestimate you, but that can be fun.
4. Always speak your truth.
If something makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say so. If you’re angry, depressed, or embarrassed, talk about it. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them. The world needs fewer secrets, and more open and honest communication.
5. Trust should always be earned—never freely given.
Most of the people you will come across are not worthy of it. There are a lot of bad people in this world. I’m not going to sugarcoat this. You need to know. Keep your guard up; monsters often wear the mask of an angel.
6. True friendship is rare.
Support and encourage the wonderful souls you connect with. Lift each other up. The world is full of fake people. Find at least one person who stands by your side through everything, even your darkest days.
A real friend will be honest with you, even if it’s a little mean sometimes. They will continue to stand up for you when you’re not around. Your very best friend in this life will be your sister; don’t ever forget that. Life may bring you down different paths, but you will always need each other. Never forget where you came from. Be there for each other, for everything.
7. Judge a book by its cover.
This is the exact opposite of what my mom taught me. I love my mom, but I’m going to have to disagree with her on this one. She taught me to always look for the good in people, but sometimes it’s just not there.
Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. People know exactly what they are doing. Pay attention to red flags. Trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. If someone hurts you, don’t give them the opportunity to do it again.
8. Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay.
Some people are going to speak badly about you, no matter what you do. Let them. Those people are not your people. The only opinion that matters is your own. Do you like you? The answer should always be yes. If you radiate that self-love outward, the right people will gravitate toward your shining light.
9. Don’t be jealous of other people.
Everyone’s path is different. Keep working hard at chasing your own dreams and crushing your goals. Whatever is meant for you will be yours. Comparing your journey to someone else’s will only steal your joy. Instead, be happy for other people’s successes. Celebrate them and let that inspire you.
10. Never let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough.
You are magnificent, and I never want you to doubt yourself. If someone doesn’t see how incredible you are, don’t let that negativity get inside your head. Their battle is with themselves, not you. Stay humble, and realize that you’re not better than anyone else either. Don’t you dare ever try to make someone else feel small. Just keep trying to be a better version of yourself, every day.
11. Life is unpredictable.
Things aren’t always going to go your way. I need you to know that it’s okay to start all over. Just don’t ever give up. You can always come home if you need to. I’ll be there to give you all the love and support you need, and your dad will help you make a plan. He’ll make sure you stick to it too—he’s really good at that.
12. Choose passion over security; security is a lie anyway.
This can apply to many things. Nothing is certain in life. Work positions are eliminated, marriages fail. Don’t stay somewhere just because you’re comfortable. If what you’re doing doesn’t make you feel alive, then it’s time for a change. Too many people are stuck repeating the same year 25 times and calling it a life. They are doing it wrong.
13. The person you are with should make you feel safe, free, and magical.
Anything else is a waste of time. The ultimate relationship contains a combination of both friendship and fire. They aren’t meant to “complete” you, because you are already whole. However, they should complement you—by providing balance and calling you on your bullsh*t. They should help push you out of your comfort zone, and provide you with the support and encouragement to go after your dreams.
Their love should only help you become more you. If you find a love like that, don’t ever let it go.
14. Gracefully let go of the things not meant for you.
This one took me awhile to learn. I used to beat myself up over the slightest rejection, always wondering why I took everything personally. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough.
That’s not the case. If you don’t get the job you applied for, it maybe just wasn’t the right fit. If the person you’re interested in is ignoring you, just walk away. No matter how you feel, don’t chase after love. That’s not how it works. See your own worth, even if others don’t. Most of the time you’re just being redirected to something better. Be patient.
15. Your thoughts are more powerful than you can imagine.
Positive things happen to positive people. You are whatever you think you are. Love yourself and believe that you are capable of extraordinary things, because you are. You absolutely have the power to create the life of your dreams.