September 22, 2019

5 Steps to stop Indecisiveness from Trapping us in Place.


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Indecisiveness is paralyzing.

Whether it is selecting your dinner from the menu, a nail polish color, or a new apartment to call home, the simple art of just making the dang choice can be enough to trap us in place.

Decisions become progressively more difficult when each option comes with subsequent make-it-happen steps: Moving? You’ll need to store or sell furniture, or maybe find a subletter. Want a new job? Then you have to decide where you want to be and go, and take a risk with a new position.

There are many difficult conversations and plain work around the bigger choices we have to make in life. Thankfully, decision-making doesn’t have to be a difficult listing of the pros and cons. My mother offered me up some of the most simple advice around: just begin down a path, and the rest will follow.

That’s it. That is all it takes. Just begin.

While I can’t say all the choices I needed to make in this difficult transition time—moving, deciding to pursue one relationship, accepting another part-time job—have me fully satisfied (I mean, are we ever?), I can confidently say that the simple act of taking baby step after baby step has lead me to a much happier and more peaceful place, and I can continue to grow in this game they call adulthood.

Going through your own season of transition?

No matter how big or how small, here are five surefire ways to keep yourself moving along the path without wasting time stuck in pro-con purgatory:

Pick a dang path.

The first step is taking a look at your current circumstances. Are you even happy? Do you genuinely like where you work and live, or is it at least comfortable, safe, and salary-wise, does it meet your needs? If the answer to any of these is no, or you feel a little tug on your heart, well, it’s time to shake things up, sweetie.

If you’re more of an intuit and empath like me, (and heck, even if you’re not!) notice what feelings arise when you imagine yourself making changes and moving forward with one decision. The saying is cliché but true for a reason: trust your gut.

Tell someone.

Once you’ve decided to move forward with one pick, talk about it! Get the universe in on your action. Call your mom. Make an announcement post on social media (if that’s your thing). Write it on the mirror with dry erase markers. Speak it into your reflection.

Saying your decision out loud reaffirms your choice and helps spread the word so the entire universe can conspire with you to make it happen.

Take baby step number one.

Decisions are nothing without action. When I made the choice to move, my first step was to begin searching for a subletter to fill my current space. Next baby step? Sell unneeded furniture and excess clothing in order to cut down on clutter and actually fit in my new room.

Break down your end goal into bite-size actions. Write them out on your planner or on a whiteboard in your room and check them out as you go. Process it all piece by piece to prevent paralysis from the sheer overwhelm of all the tasks on hand.

Stay focused.

Rather than splitting your attention between two huge decisions, such as taking a new job and moving out of your apartment to a new place (unless, hey, your lease is up or you have to move to said job), tackle one big decision at a time.

Oftentimes the second you start forging one path, everything else subsequently falls into place: the relationship rekindles or definitively ends, your new home happens to be just steps from your new workplace…you get me?

Channel all your energy toward one path and watch the rest align. And if it doesn’t? Read on.

Be nimble.

During your baby-steppin’, be sure to stay diligent in looking out for closed doors along the way and know if it is time to a) crack a window instead or b) get out of the f*cking house.

To be successful in the path we choose, we must remain open to gentle redirection and the harsh reality that some things may not work out 100 percent as planned. Most likely, they won’t. They’ll shift and change as you grow yourself, but hey, that is okay. Expect and prepare for the testing of your faith along the way. And if it all doesn’t work out? Pivot. Pray. Start the process over again.

You’ll get there, I promise.

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