How can we create a happy childhood for our young children when our society is full of suffering?

How do we move a happy early childhood away from just the responsibility of individual families and into the social contract of the United States?

Those are huge questions, but let us start small.

The smallest action you can take is acknowledging that you understand that these are both huge challenges. You take on a huge challenge by breaking it up and starting small.

Starting small is not negative. The best way to eat a pie is to use your table manners to cut off appropriate pieces, and then enjoy the bite.

Most people can’t safely finish a pie in one bite (which is why everyone should learn the Heimlich maneuver).

To continue with our analogy, imagine there is a delicious pie waiting on the window sill for you.

What piece will you take first?

I know a piece of parenting many people want to take a bite from is discipline.

Now the first thing you want to do when tackling discipline is to make sure that the pie is cool. You don’t want to take a big bite of discipline from the pie your mother or grandmother just pulled from the oven, because it will be too hot. If it is too hot it will burn and singe.

So let us sit and wait. Let us look at the pie.

Is the pie sitting in the best place to cool down?
Is there a breeze coming through?

Do you have the right tools to tackle the pie? Do you have a fork? Did you remember to bring a plate, a knife, and a napkin. Pies can be messy.

Even though your child is in early childhood, maybe you need a partner to help you or a friend.

Two-year-olds are powerful, because they are humans, just smaller. You’re powerful, so your child is powerful and that is wonderful.

We are calling this slice discipline, but pies don’t have different flavors in different pieces.  Just because we cut the pie up in pieces it doesn’t change the flavor, right?

As you’re sitting here, you’re realizing that this is simply a piece of pie and the flavor is knowledge. So your 2-year-old or 3-year-old has done something that you feel is not appropriate. After you have sat here, calmed down, and observed the situation, do you think  what has happened is that horrible?

How do you want your child to react when they are overwhelmed? Children are great observers.

You were in a hurry, because our society does not support you. This is not your problem or your child’s problem, this is a system problem that you cannot tackle by yourself.

What you can tackle is your perspective of what may in the heat of the moment appear to be an immediate problem, but as you are sitting, is it really a problem that has anything to do with you or your child?

No, it is not.

The first steps in tackling discipline:

1. Get rid of the oppressive concept of discipline
2. Life is learning and experiences
3. Did anyone get hurt, no, move on

These are small steps. You’re doing a great job parent. Start small.