Dating is complicated.

I reluctantly threw myself back into the “game,” and for lack of better words, it has been a sh*t show. Mostly because humans are complex and that complexity isn’t what we see. We see what we want to see, and if we don’t ask those hard questions and get vulnerable, that’s all we will ever see.

So, since I need all the advice I can get (and because I have a lot of interest in others’ experiences), I asked our readers what the best dating advice they ever received was, and this is what they said.

Our readers have spoken. Take what you want, leave what you don’t:

“Don’t fall in love with potential. Fall in love with the person in front of you because that may be as good as it gets. If you need to overhaul the person to make them fit in your life, it may not be worth it to you and be unfair to them.” ~ Natalie

“Ask him on the first date to describe his mother in one word. Give him time to think. If he answers right away with a mediocre word or disrespect, move on. If he takes a minute, smiles while he thinks, then gives a respectful answer. That is how he will treat you.” ~ Daneen

“Stay humble, stay present, stick to the basics, don’t over complicate things, let go of expectations, be patient, be honest.” ~ Mindi

“If they never ask you how you are or how your day was…move on.” ~ Christy

“My Mom used to tell me there’s another one that will come along every ten minutes, just like busses.” ~ Cindy

“If they’re interested you’ll know – if not you’ll be confused!” ~ Erika

“Always communicate and express your feelings. If they can’t listen or don’t care to – it’s not worth your effort. They’re not ready yet and you’ll be left feeling empty.” ~ Meaghan

“If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s usually a duck. So listen to your gut.” ~ Amber

“Marry someone who can cook! Looks fade, hunger does not! Lol.” ~ Nica

 “Date out of your comfort zone/type.” ~ Jennifer

“I think it was Maya Angelou who said something like: when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~ Stacy

“If you can’t accept all their flaws and quirks now, don’t expect them to change. It is a perk if they change but never bank on it happening!!!” ~ Jill

“Look at the actions. Not the words.” ~ Sarah

“Don’t date.” ~ Jennifer

“Don’t make a habit of collecting red flags.” ~ Ruthie

“Don’t f*ck on the first date.” ~ Shannon

“Don’t date. Be happy solo. It’s the best thing I’ve done for myself. I’ve been single by choice for a few years and I love it.” ~ Laurie

“I won’t have you unless you’re sweeter than my solitude.” ~ Hannah

“You marry your quality of life.” ~ Lisa

“Date like you are going on a job interview, share what you will bring to the relationships, skills and expectations.” ~ Jennifer

“If you feel that maybe you should give him another chance, don’t. Trust your first impression, trust your instincts, don’t waste any more time if there is even the slightest iota of doubt.” ~ Paula

“A man’s level of effort is tied to his level of interest in you. And if a man is really into you, he will be consistent. If he’s not, he won’t.” ~ Yvonne

“Actions over promises. Consistency over tendency.” ~ Ryan

“Go four seasons with the person.” ~ Cameron

“What you allow is what will continue.” ~ Jill

“It’s never going to be better than it is in the beginning. If the beginning sucks, run.” ~ Abby

“Clean your fridge and bathroom before you invite your little friend over!” ~ Choga

“Be more interesting than interested.” ~ Amanda

“Go slow.” ~ Carol

“Best advice? Run….” ~ Brian

And for those who still aren’t convinced:

DON’T [DATE]. ~ James

And when all else fails:

“Get a cat.” ~ Sasic

~

 

Fall in love with yourself and read Things I would Like to do with You curled up by the fire—a real mindful love story. You can get your copy here.