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January 10, 2020

Please stop saying you are fine.

just caught myself using the F WORD, not that one.. I use it most days, a word bestowed to me by my Daddy. Chances are high, I swore before I could walk… but the other F word – FINE.

F*&k, I hate that word. It’s so vague, yet so politically correct isn’t it?  It will immediately stifle any real conversations. It closes the door to connection.

I’m not suggesting we stop and tell everyone in the grocery store our life stories. What I am suggesting, is let’s just be honest – “ Actually today – I am exhausted, frustrated, sad, happy, anxious, awesome. “

I’m realizing that TRUTH is our only way back to true connection.

I don’t mean the truth that hurts another person.

I don’t mean the truth that insults, ridicules or condemns.

I don’t mean the truth that says “ they make me feel …..”

Full stop. No one can MAKE you feel anything. Read that again.

We can not control others words or actions but we do CONTROL our response to them. And it is that RESPONSE that speaks VOLUMES…. watch for it, wait for it, interrupt it and own it.

Anger – Getting angry with the self check out, is probably not at all about that stupid machine.

Sadness – Those tears that you broke into, when you put lipstick under your eyes, instead of concealer ( yep, guilty) is not about that looking like a pink raccoon.

Sarcasm – That passive aggressive comment, that you laugh off and say you were just joking. You were not joking! Your negativity is speaking.

Hurt – That person who didn’t let you in, at the red light. Is it them or is it a reflection of the underbelly of rejection?

Fear – That panic feeling you get in that crowded elevator. Is it the confined space or is it feeling suffocated by life and responsibilities?

Failure – That test you just bombed or that promotion you didn’t get or that run you didn’t finish? Is that a theme, rooted in feeling unworthy or unappreciated?

Numb – That apathy, compassion fatigue, from reading about yet, another tragedy and feeling so much that you dissociate and instead feel nothing?

Happy – Are you? Or are you just happy THERE ( the gym, the workplace, the after 5 social ) and not at home? Or the opposite?

Positive- Are you embracing it or are you afraid of being cautiously optimistic because you have been let down so many times before?

Fabulous- If you feel fantastic today, share that with EVERYONE.. Someone is your midst, needs to be inspired.

There are dozens of feelings, that can lead us TRUTH.

Acknowledge them. Examine them…

And please STOP saying you are fine!

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Christina Lepore  |  Contribution: 21,050