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January 23, 2020

Spiritual Rehab: the modern day sermons that could bring home the scattered flock if we get real.

It’s Sunday.

I know many y’all are not a fan of me ever touching on religion.

Let me assure you I too have been ‘ touched’ by religion in all the WRONG WAYS!

This isn’t about religion whatsoever.

I know y’all think I’m a bit of a Jesus Freak but hey I’m a Trauma Queen so it’s cool!

I’ve taken every label I’ve ever had to flipped it on it’s head and encourage you to do so as well.

Freak means radical, crazy, the refusal to accept to status quo as normal which is nothing but.

Freak is daring to speak with compassion instead of contempt towards those we don’t know. ( Don’t get me started on contempt for those we do and whom have betrayed us – that’s a whole other freaking sermon.)

Freaks have taken every label this world has ever handed them and flipped it on it’s head too, until others had no choice but to see themselves in that mirror.

Hallelujah to all the FREAKS who dare to redefine normal because we need brothers and sisters and alter egos and even the cows to come home.

Whomever you are. I ask that you rise with me?

Join hands and link arms with those amongst us who desperately need a hand up not a hand out as some call it.

I’ve flip the script on that one too.

Personally to me, a hand out means they aren’t in my freaking pocket!

I’m still reaching out to others.

So here’s your Sunday Morning Sermon: Luke 15: 11.

Zero plagiarism and only edited because it’s been 2000 years and we still can’t figure this shit out.

This is what I think the message actually is and I’m crazy enough to say it:

A parent had 2 kids. Greedy little ungrateful bastards!

So he split his inheritance between them before he died because he clearly had an issue with Co-Dependency.

1 kids decided to take that money and go do the things he never had and that was ALOT of sh*t!

A lot of booze and sex and gambling as the story goes, a lot of trying to buy his way to happiness which inevitably lead to both financial, emotional and spiritual bankruptcy.

He tried to fix it himself and screwed up, as we all do.

He lowered his head, realizes he has messed up.

Then owned the hell out of it and decided to go home and make amends and try to repay them.

His parent was so freaking excited to see him. A stone had been taken off his heart of the nights spent worrying.

He didn’t give a crap what his kid had done.

He was just happy he was home and threw one hell of a party to celebrate.

Now the other kid – not freaking happy at all.

He had stood by and was a bitter MF for doing it!

He never left home ( which is questionable now that I think about it).

But he thought he was better than his brother. ( we all know one of those. )

He was working and his brother, he just saw just an wash up. He threw a lot of shade y’all ?

He blamed him, shaming him for every single thing he did wrong, forgetting everything that kid had got right.

Until his Dad interrupted that BULLS*T  promptly!

Look kid, ya you got a lot right – kudos to you. Congrats!

But I also made it too easy for you and I don’t like how this turned out.

You honestly sound like a entitled little prick.

Your brother messed up royally but he knows it.

He admits it. He’s showed up to try and do better and I’m so proud of him for doing so.

He was lost and is now found.


Now this Parable is known only as the Prodical Son..It does not say WHICH son that is!

Many clerics try and use this as a metaphor to exploit one’s sins and to suggest they crawl back and beg for a forgiveness that has already been granted the moment he admitted he needed it!

What ya don’t hear in most churches is the question?

Are ya ready for it?

Which son was the bigger ASSHOLE?

Which one thought he owed the right to the crown?

And which son was the damn Trauma Queen or King or how ever they identified as, wearing it?

Your Sunday Morning Sermon is this love is for all – LOVE. PERIOD!

I hope ya liked it. I ain’t no Joel Olsteen or Kanye West.

I won’t sugar coat the righteousness of sinners that claim to be saints.

Being a millionaire does not mean your blessed- that prosperity gospel – it’s got to go because Jesus didn’t own a dime and when he did… he gave it away!

I’m not suggesting that pastors don’t make a living.

They deserve much of what they recieve. It takes a lot of work to build a church and write a sermon ( not actually cause this has taken me time and that’s only longer because of freaking autocorrect who I admittedly cursed on a Sunday – shame on me! I already know I was raised Catholic and feel guilty all the time already. It’s a notorious virtue. )

But seriously does Joel Osteen give any of his money away to rise a brother or sister up or does he hide it under a bushel along with his light and his balls?

I’m sorry Joel but you can be a Motivatonal Speaker without the collar, so can you please take it off cause ya make the rest of us look bad?

There are a lot of Televised, Instagram, Facebook, youtube preachers I do learn a lot from like Steve Furlick, Sara Roberts, Joyce Meyer, Christine Caine and we all need a fired up TD Jakes once in a while…

My favorite Pastorix Nadia Boltz-Webber who inspired this chat.

Or there is ME: I’ll be over here shouting from my own rooftop starting a battle cry for those who feel lost and alone to just come home.


In closing.

Go show someone what love looks like today – they may have never seen her before!

Thank you for coming to church.

See ya next Sunday?

I’ve got lots more to say…but mostly importantly it’s this :


And if ANYONE has told you else wise – it was unequivocally, a flat out lie!

Can I get an Amen?

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