Dear Beautiful Girl,

This day has come. The one I feared for 17 years and dreaded for the last two. I’ve cried many tears in anticipation of today, and now that it is here, I don’t know what to feel.

So I sit in our dark living room at 2 a.m., alone and feeling. I feel raw emptiness and sadness for the piece of my life that is now missing from our home. And I feel my heart full with pride for you embracing your independence, and full of anticipation for the joyful experiences you’ll create and life lessons you’ll navigate.

My heart forces my face into a smile. It’s genuine and bright, even if it is through tears.

And so I reflect, as your mother, on the journey that inevitably brought us here. I’m not usually a poet, but this stillness feels poetic. And so I pour my heart out on my iPad, at 2 a.m., in the empty quiet, the finality of the dark, and in our home that will always feel your soaring presence and always be your place to land.

~

Watching You Fly

Watching you fly

Has been the greatest privilege of my life.

Letting you go

Has been my sorrow.

But I let you go

So you could soar

Higher than you could with me.

 

You gave me more life

Than I could have ever given myself.

Made me realize

My plans are never as good as fate would have me

Have you.

 

And I do. Have you.

In letting go, I sometimes forget.

 

So in love,

Leading with my heart.

Always unsure,

But it always felt right,

Loving you.

 

So scared,

I didn’t want to hurt you, lose you,

Lose your love,

Lose me…

Letting you grow.

 

I longed for you

Yet you were right here.

Drifting apart

On our own paths.

United by heart

Watching from afar,

But still so close.

 

You are here. So close!

 

We come back

To each other.

Different, yet the same.

On our journey

Of growing up together.

Mama bear

And her beautiful girl.

 

I’m proud of you,

Proud of us.

I feel you.

You are part of me.

As you once were

And will always be.

 

We journey together

To our new destination,

Knowing it is just a stop along the way

Of a lifetime of

Watching you fly.

~

Beautiful girl, I love you. I miss you. I am so very, very proud of the woman you have become.

Let’s catch up over a cup of coffee soon.

Love,

Mom