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February 26, 2020

Born

Once long ago a child entered this world She was born not beautiful but told and told after many days that she was acceptable and she became cute. 

As she grew she learnt beliefs, many complete untruths. 

She learnt to not believe in herself. 

She believed what she had been taught through her young life that she no longer has a choice and had to be what the tribe prescribed, tribe being the family .

Her appearance not acceptable her worth only good in the kitchen or the house never would she make it in any other way for no one would want her as she was not beautiful or acceptable.

She took on the belief and the duties put on her through no other choice that she’d be the responsible one and cook, clean and feed the animals  , she didn’t know any different or any other way , but now she sees layers and patterns from long ago , being responsible became her thing . This is not necessarily a bad thing,but it is  it is a concreted in belief of the tribe .

Her system so young when it became cement it now speaks as if it is absolute truth.

It repeats many sayings of, I am not good enough, I am not valuable,  I am not worth it to name a few. I have no say in anything no opinions of mind or what I am here to do, this is the wounded child she hides in the Shadows.

She hides in the darkness in the cave that she has built over a lifetime.

She hides deeply her spiritual connections her symbolic sight , she feels like a fake, a fraud a loser too, she has so many layers piled upon layers in every area of her being  that the weight of this is holding her down.

She doesn’t know if she even has the ability to serve or be of  service in this world to stand as herself and let others see her face .

She has no idea what that looks like to her. Now this child has grow into a wounded woman that has  always put everyone else’s needs and everyone else’s issues before her own. 

This is the ingrained thought  she does not matter she does not count she has no life its forfeited to others for all time .

The weight of this is heavy everyday it is all encompassing heavy weight .

It’s the weight of the world as she processes this all through the layers and waves she begins to face it all .

She begins to awaken to all of the insanity and wants to change lives, she sits with  the weight and knows that all of her archetypes sit in the Shadows waiting for her invite. 

 But it’s the Shadows that rule her life.

These Shadows have been a constant companion from a young  adult life

Now the the Light of the shadows wish to be more present they are rewriting the story. 

Is it too late some say never some say it’s futile and some saying suck it up and deal with what your lot is .

You cannot change the who of you .

The belief is there, the light is too! 

The willingness to thrive a powerful tool. 

The greatest tool. Is the heart 

This is the place to begin to change .

This is where she starts

For this woman or anyone its never to late 

It’s time to begin

Two fingers to the chest

Breath in 

Breath out 

Let joy take you on a journey

So bright 

It magnetises your heart to become awake and alive 

From this place her change begins 

From her heart 

Self love reigns. 

The journey to self is a powerful one 

When you believe you see it can all be undone!

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