Ok y’all I’m heated up over the shit show in my Facebook feed.

Of course about the half time show. For some reason that’s all that anyone remembers: Good Job players on both teams.

As long as you showed up to play and tried your best, you are both winners in my books.

Back to Half Time: Here is paraphrased what I’ve seen and here are my answers because I don’t have time to tear a strip off of every judgmental person on social media.

From the women:

*What type of women act like that in their 40’s? Grow up.

Me: Curious if we would ever ever being having this conversation, had it been 2 40 something Hip-Hop artists and Men preforming?

If you wouldn’t tell a man to grow up the don’t ask a woman.

It takes us decades to get to the point where we have enough growth to show up and be scene.

Don’t shoot a sister down, unless you do the men as well. I have seen no  posts about the rap artist that performed nor and his age.

*Gosh I guess I need to start working out a lot harder at the gym!

Me: GOD PLEASE say No.

At least  not for that reason anyways.

Looking perfect is an unattainable achievement we strive for from early childhood as girls, where the so- called prettier ones sadly seem to get the same attention in this world.

*Honestly, like Jlo had a younger guy smack her ass on live TV? Talk about acting like a slut.

Me: If Jlo has consented to this smack on the butt, then mind your business.

Ya act like her spanked a bare ass. It’s her dance routine not yours. Would we say the same thing if a woman tapped a man’s butt for a choreographed routine?

Would we say this to the football players on the field who literally tap each other’s asses all the damn time?

*Show offs, attention seeking rich women thinking they are the bomb!

Me: First question bothers you more? That she is rich or that she THINKS? It seems they both have done very well for themselves. They don’t need the money. The could retire. But they choose not to! So maybe that performance was not about them showing off cause helloooo, they don’t need to – maybe they wanted to sing, dance, preform, entertain to support the teams and their country?

*Could their costumes be any more revealing? Put your clothes on.

Me: Yes actually they could be.

I don’t know what the state law in Florida is but in Canada, women won the right to be topless when they are hot a long freaking time ago.

It’s the same in many progressive countries

*They are costumes, I used to dance – I assure you they take them off when they get home like everyone else.

But if that’s what they choose to wear everyday of the week with 2 extra outfits for Sunday – it’s their body, it’s their choice.

*She climbed a pole like a stripper – classy.

Me: Dear Lord, do you have any idea how hard it is to climb a stripper pole and hang there but their thighs?

No, I don’t know.

But I know I have absolutely no upper body strength whatsoever. I can barely coordinated enough to hold my order at the drive thru window.

Gymnastics champions hold themselves up on benches in skin tight leotards. No one gives them hell or insinuated they are strippers, do they?

Because they are more respected for their efforts, than women in the limelight? That seems bias to me!

From the men:

*When you are licking your TV screen, praying for a wardrobe malfunction.

Me: Ok as a women, if you did lick the screen, get some windex and clean it because your wife may not be happy when she sees it and not because she’s jealous of those women or she can’t take a joke either.

It’s because you expected us to clean it when you made it.

And a wardrobe malfunction? Really? I’m assuming at this point you have not seen many sets of tits in your lifetime, big or small; they all basically look the same or were created to preform a function if they choose someday.

So allow me to illustrate boobies for ya – they are the same as yours but ours on bigger than yours and our’s WORK.

*Sexy AF! WTF happened to the women in my office? Now they look like senior citizens compared to this!

Me: Ok allow me to state the obvious. How much do you actually pay the women in your office?

Do they have the luxury to spend money on personal trainers and motivation coaches and dance teachers, personal dieticians and chefs,Botox and tummy tucks and expensive beauty products to reduce the look of aging?

It that what women should look like pay them accordingly or STFU.

Most of us wouldn’t spend that cash on looking prettier for your approval and our self worth.

We would quit and leave that toxic workplace, if you paid that much!

*Look at Jlo go full- on POLE? She can climb mine any day lol.

ME: She doesn’t want to little guy.

She has a man and a woman like that is never going to ring your door bell and ask to see your pole or to ride it or your dad bod…

it just won’t happen. Sorry!

*All my wife does is complain about having no energy or sex drive, she’s gotten thick in the middle too lol – look at what 50 can look like girls! You girls could be a goddess.

Me: My friend. We are not girls. Your wife is menopausal,.

You may want to google the scientific findings of the hardship and chaos that becomes a women’s abrupt drop in the estrogen levels we have had since we were tweens.

It can feel like one’s mind and body has gone crazy. We do not need you to drive us there.

Unlike those 2 incredibly talented women who clearly are laying golden eggs from their ovaries, the rest of the women I know ovaries are shriveling by the day, and we are still here, showing up every day for you, as our natural age!

You are fat in the middle too so don’t throw stones until you have Ryan Reynolds abs from the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love.

We are already goddesses.

We were declared do the moment we were born.

And we really don’t need any more help for you to make us believe we aren’t. We do it to ourselves.

Genderless troll:

*Look 2 Jenny’s from the block, 2 all American girls singing Spanish. Why are they singing Spanish? We aren’t Spanish.

ME: F*ck off- their stage they can sing what they want

Don’t understand the lyrics? There is an app for that.

Perhaps you need a reminder that these Latino women ARE Americans.

A lot of Americans speak Spanish, especially Latino singers.

Ya didn’t have a problem with their dance moves did ya?

I love that they added their own culture to the mix of dance segments.

I hope that was a the middle finger to every American who thinks immigrants go to the US to run drug cartels or for trafficking and for all the other rhetoric we hear these days.

Like Jlo and Shakira – they work their asses off In the US and it’s high time come one gives them the credit immigrants deserve!

 

An extra high five for donning the flag of your roots during ‘Born in the USA’ –  sheer brilliance.

In closing, I think Shakira and Jennifer Lopez are incredibly talented women, dancers, singers and performers.

And if you see this, thank you for BRING US YOUR BEST?