A letter to my son:
There are times when I look at you, and marvel at the man you are becoming. Still awkward and knobby kneed and full of wonder. I watch you study a monarch caterpillar as it inches his way from one of your dirty hands to another. “Mom, we named it Catty!” You smile with proud eyes. “Isn’t he cool?” And with a wink and smile, you are off to your next discovery.
Some days, I wish I could see the world that you do. Miracles everywhere. Adventure behind every corner. Scuffed knees, sunned skin, and endless possibilities. Who will you be when you grow up?
You dart in and out of the house finding tools for your next conquest. “We are building a fort!” you say, brimming with excitement. “It’s a secret. Don’t tell anyone.” Drawings and maps and plans scratched out with your number two pencil on printer paper litter the counter. Designs for fold-out roofs and remodels for a garden. Imagination is your best friend, carrying you from place to wondrous place.
I find myself watching you and your curiosity and wondering how I can capture some of it. The way you explore your world. Everything is an opportunity to take advantage of. Everything is worth studying with your big, soft, brown eyes.
“I love you,” I say…but the words don’t do it justice. You are the keeper of my heart as you bravely navigate the world playing soldiers with your friends. “I love you more,” you respond, and I believe you think you do. And one day, when you have your own children, you will know that it’s impossible for a child to love their parent more.
I will treasure these days when I can heal your wounds both inside and out with a warm squeeze and a kiss on your forehead, and I know that I will long to have the same power over your hurts when you get older. To make things all better. I am privileged to have a front row seat to your “growing up” and I am captivated by every moment of it. I am so thankful I get to be your mom, on the good days and the hard ones. You are my most amazing creation.