May 14, 2020

Don’t Doubt Him.

Hey ladies,

I know you might be thinking that this is going to be about the most positive thoughts about your boyfriends. 

Yes, it is. But it’s not just about the positive things that can happen; it’s also about the things that might go wrong.

I know he’s on your mind 24/7—the first thought from the moment you wake up, to the last thought before you sleep.

I know you must be wondering if he thinks about you, or if you ever cross his thoughts.

I know you love him unconditionally, and you don’t want to lose him.

But hey, isn’t that just occupying all your headspace?

A healthy relationship begins with love and ends at understanding. Understanding that the other person is human too, and he requires space.

But how much space is healthy space?

The amount of space where both of you can finish your days work, spend time with friends and family, and sort things out without forgetting that you are committed to this one person, or that to that one person you mean the whole world. The amount of space where you can just breathe without having to worry that you’re accountable to someone. The amount of space where you don’t feel suffocated or worried.

As individuals, all of us are only answerable to ourselves at the end of the day. All the deeds that we do, all the seeds that we sow—it’s all about us in our own lives. We’re gonna reap what we sow, and enjoy the benefits or drawbacks of our deeds.

But what if this space grows out too much?

Now, see, our intuition might be spot on 99.9 percent of the time. But 99.9 isn’t 100. All of these what-ifs could go either direction; we don’t know. But why worry about all that? Why create a huge fuss in your head and ruin what you have?

Give your best; if it is reciprocated, then all’s well and good. When it’s not, that is the time to take things seriously and sit down together.

Sit down together and talk about the things that are happening, be assertive. If he gets scared by your assertiveness, or gives you bland answers, that is the time to confront that person.

And should he say that he’s lost interest, don’t break down. I know that is difficult, but just respect his decision and leave from there. Don’t text him or call him later. The aftermath is going to be really difficult to endure, but you’ll do it anyway. 

And who knows. Maybe you’ll find he thinks you’re cute when you’re assertive. Maybe you’ll find when you confront him, that your assertiveness helps him realise that he has not been giving you much time lately. Maybe he’ll sort it out. And if he does, then keep him. 

Don’t doubt him; he’s only human, too. Be a woman and communicate your needs.  


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