I write too many lists.
I tend to criticize myself and it’s painful from within. I have so much to say, yet I hide and run away from myself, and what I know I need the most.
Months and (sometimes) years fly by and I conceal my creativity and my flow. I often find myself stuck in a rut of self-destruction with nowhere to go, yet I know deep down that my words can set me free.
I limit myself with fears, “what ifs,” and “maybes” that, more often than not, don’t happen. But, not anymore. This time, instead of hiding, I choose to heal. Instead of sheltering from myself, I am choosing to listen, write, and sing.
As for my own song—my own voice—I owe it to myself. I strive to treat myself exactly how I treat others: with kindness, compassion, grace, and patience. My words matter, my voice matters, and so, I will write, I will sing, I will grow.
I will allow myself to feel the soothing potential of doing and being exactly what I want and need to do, exactly when and how I need to do it. I will no longer silence myself and my instincts, limit my own possibilities, or silence my voice in the crowd. My time is now.
That said, when my feelings are strong, I read the lists I create, and breathe.
Here’s one of them that never fails to soothe my soul:
1- When life gets too loud, write—often and always.
2- For too long, you have shied away from writing for “you.” Why? Sometimes, because you write for others, and maybe, other times, writing for yourself is too heavy to bear. But you can, you should, and you shall.
3- Sing your stories for they are the most powerful tool you have.
4- Remember that feeling you get when you sing, when you allow yourself to speak up in the truest form, when you need to express what you believe in. How words leave your lips and the melody leaves your mind. Never forget this soothing potential, and the responsibility that your words carry within. Storytelling has a great impact and brings the humane nature back into humanity.
5- Manifest the precious and mindful moments and grow in them.
6- Bask in the beauty of the “here and now.” Treasure those moments that lead you to think “I am alive.” Remember how great it feels when you allow yourself to recognize exactly what you’re feeling. When you’re present and persistent in finding beauty from within, and without.
7- Treat your mind, body, and soul kindly.
8- Don’t criticize yourself or your choices so readily. Sit with them and respect your subconscious callings. Never think you could have done more when every ounce of your being was tired. Criticism is allowed, analysis is healthy, but so is finding comfort in peace. Respect the sheer power of your mind and use it the right way.
9- Your mind is too powerful. Don’t allow it to subject you to self-spite, anxiety, and doubt.
10- Practice the frequent inner and intrinsic preaching of your value and self-worth. If you use it wisely, you can accomplish beautiful things.
11- Never place your self-worth on another, no matter who or how special they may be.
12- Remember this when your empathetic nature has soaked all of someone else’s sunshine or storm: you are not them, no matter how much it might feel like it. Self-preservation doesn’t mean selfishness.
13- Speak out. There is solitude in silence, but there is hope in being heard.
14- For too long, you have feared fully embracing the tools that are at your disposal. Perhaps you fear the consequences, or the direction in which they might take you. Trust that they will carry you where you must go, even if you don’t yet know the destination.