June 12, 2020

For the Frustrated & Defeated who can’t Find their Purpose.


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If you’re reading this, there is a good chance you’re feeling some combination of frustrated, defeated, and excited.

You’re frustrated and defeated because you feel like you’ve been searching for this ominous thing for so long and you simply cannot find it. You’re excited because you hope I have the answer.

For the latter, you’re in luck.

In short, you can’t find your purpose, Love, because it’s not hiding anywhere.

From the time we were born, we began to learn all of this stuff. Sure, a lot of it we need and a lot of it helps. But then, we got stuck in the stuff. We got so caught up in living in our bubble of stuff, that we forgot what we came here knowing.

See, I believe we came here with beliefs. We came here with knowing. We came here with ideas on how our lives would unfold. We came here with ideas on why we’re here—purpose.

Then we got flooded with information: new stuff, new beliefs, new knowings, new ideas. And there is one in particular that put you in this seat today, frustrated and excited, because you cannot for the life of you find your purpose.

The problem is just this: the world told us to go find our purpose. We treat it like it is something that is hiding out there in the world that we have to go hunt for—a scavenger hunt, where the winning prize is fulfillment and only a few will win. This has to be one of the cruelest things that the world does to us.

Because Babe, your purpose is not hiding. It is not out there. It is not in the 15th book you read on self-discovery. It is not on your trek of the El Camino. It is not on a pilgrimage to the land of your ancestors. It is not in your master’s degree. It is in you. It has always been in you. It has never been anywhere else.

The mistake you’re making is thinking you have to find it. You already have it. And so, if you already have it, how do you get to it?

You clear away the rubble. You clear away the things that have made you miss it. You put down the books. You stop planning pilgrimages. You stop looking for it in your education.

The years you have been alive are how many years-worth of rubble you have. So please remember, if you put an hour on the clock to sit in silence today and expect to have an epiphany, you are going to be disappointed.

It’s going to take time. It might hit you like a ton of bricks. More likely, though, it will be a series of quiet hunches along a windy road.

I know why you haven’t found your purpose because it’s the same reason I couldn’t find mine. I was looking for it everywhere. I listened to every podcast, read all of the books, took courses, asked people, went out and tried to do a bunch of things. I never stopped. I was flooding and filling myself with so much information that, in retrospect, I’d have to be crazy to think that I could access the foundation.

That is where your purpose lies. That is where your truth lies: the foundation. It is so central to you that it is what built you.

I’m sorry you were told it was anywhere but your core. I’m sorry you spent so long searching. But the things you found were all a part of your journey. You needed many of them and many of them helped. Now, though, I think you’re ready to stop asking Google the answers and start asking yourself.

Get quiet, tune out distractions, and ask yourself why you’re here. Ask your soul what it wants. Ask your heart where to go next.

Be wary of the mind; it will try to stop you. It won’t like that you’re taking from its power, but it needs to be done. Your purpose does not lie in the mind. It lies in your heart and it lies in your soul. You have to let your heart out, and you have to connect to your soul.

Only you can do this and trying is 90 percent of the work. Patience, strength, trust, and clearing the rubble is the rest.

You can’t find your purpose because you already have it. Like when your sunglasses are on your head. You’re just too distracted and you’re moving too fast.

Take a deep breath. Look in the mirror.


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