June 26, 2020

I am Done with my Demons. I Control my Happiness Now.


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My body and mind have had enough of my reckless behavior.

They’re saying, “Take a break before you break.”

I’ve been listening to the whispers from within, letting them lead me down a happier, healthier path. My soul is tired. My body is tired, too. I’ve been so busy focusing on the loud demands of the world and the people around me. I’ve neglected the things my inner self has been screaming for.

I’ve been pouring my energy into bottomless pits that do not serve me well. I’ve been draining myself of positivity and light to lift others—I’ve been working without passion, and loving without trust.

Dancing with my demons has been messy and hard. I’m tired. My body and soul are telling me it’s time for a break from all of these things, and I’m finally listening. I’m taking the time to sit with myself and listen to the whispers. They become louder each day.

I’m letting my energy flow through my body daily—yoga, dance, handstands, and walking. The more I move, the more my body craves it—the more my body thanks me.

I’m drinking more water. I have more energy.

I’m spending time outside with my children.

I’m reading, writing, and creating with passion.

I appreciate my husband for things that I’ve sadly overlooked in the past due to my insecurities.

I’m saying no to things that do not serve my family or me well.

I’m avoiding interactions with toxic people and removing them from my life.

I’m breathing deeply, and I’m meditating. In these little moments between each inhale and exhale I feel whole, I have everything I need. I trust those moments. This is the place where I can hear the whispers from deep within.

How can we have faith in our journey and the people, whose paths have intertwined with ours, if we do not trust ourselves?

It’s a strange thing to think about—not trusting yourself. And it’s more common than you may realize.

We are constantly questioning ourselves and our worth. Asking if we are ever going to be “enough.” Second-guessing ourselves when it comes time to make an important decision. Seeking validation from our peers. We are constantly wondering if we could have done better. And we hold back raw emotions in fear of judgment when we should allow these thoughts to drive our actions.

I’ve been trying to listen to my intuition and the little voice that resides deep within me—the more I listen, the louder it gets.

I am already enough, and I deserve love.

Nothing is permanent. I am in control of my own happiness. Being present is the best option. Emotion means that I’m human, and that’s okay.

I’m still working on my relationship with myself, and luckily I have an entire lifetime to learn from the little whispers.

This beautiful beginning has already lead me down a brighter path, and I intend to follow that light. If I stray, I know where to find the whispers that will lead me back.

I just need to keep listening and stay on track.

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