June 13, 2020

What I’ve Learned about Myself and Racism.

I’ve always had black friends. I’ve always dated black men.

Does this make me anti-racist?

I’ve always spoken up against racism, to my friends, family, neighbors.

Does this make me anti-racist?

I’ve raised my children to believe that people of all colors are equal and deserve the same rights.

Does this make me anti-racist?

I have cried learning about the history of racism in this country and wondered why I never learned these horrific events in school.

Does that make me anti-racist?

I’ve posted anti-racist memes, and quotes, and have gone to protests.

Does this make me anti-racist?

I have also walked a different direction from a group of young, black men when, had they been white, I may not have.

Does that make me racist?

I have questioned the clothing choice, way of speaking, posture, and life choices of black people.

Does that make me racist?

I could go on…and on.

I’ve learned much of what I’ve thought of myself is filtered by the person I wish I was, versus the person I actually am.

This has been an awakening.

I’m ashamed.

I will do more.

I will learn more.

I will listen more, and talk less.

I will take off my filter and look with fresh eyes.

I will question my belief system.

I will confront my own thoughts, and assumptions, and actively work to find out the why and, more importantly, the how of changing them.

I will not stop.

I will become the person who can stand up for black people, without any guilt about my private thoughts, questions, or fears.

I will no longer pretend that I’ve done enough.

I have never done even close to enough.


Watch an anti-racism hour with Jane Elliott talking with Waylon Lewis of Elephant here.


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