July 30, 2020

When you (Finally) let go of that Toxic Person.


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I finally have the courage to share this.

Forgiving you was heartbreaking, but not forgiving myself was the root of all my pain.

So, here I am, loving myself a bit more every day.

With many scars in my heart, I am finally moving on.
Hurting you wasn’t the best thing I’ve done, but it had to be said.

You used to be so fragile and soft, when did you become so cruel?
Every time I think about us, I still wish it wasn’t real.

How many people can I seek help from?
How many people will help me heal?

I don’t know if you will change, but I guess I need to live with it.
What made you so aggressive?
While you were walking smoothly, I was drowning in the sea.

Why couldn’t you speak to me with those soft words that you often used with others?
I was scared of the dark, and all I saw was a blackout of all the colors.

I understand that your past was not fair and should not have happened to you, but how do I tell myself that what you did to me is justified?

I am finding it hard to forget the bruises you left on my body and my heart.
Perhaps, all I can do now is scream it out through this painful art.

But I don’t wish to live with it anymore, even if it means losing you.
I will watch you walk out the door—it was always open for you.

I guess I will close this chapter and find all that is out there—all that is made of love.
I am looking at my past fade while I fly above.

I forgot that all that should’ve mattered to me was me. I forgot about all the power I was supposed to give to myself.
I finally understand it all now. I am the only person I should have bowed for.

I am finally letting it all go. I am finding peace and going with the flow. There is no space for anxiety and depression anymore.

I can feel the unconditional love that is hidden deep within my core.

I just want love; I just want to feel safe; I want all that I could not give myself before.

I can finally breathe the fresh air of freedom.

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