July 23, 2020

It’s Okay to be a Stay-at-Home Mom or Housewife—even in this Modern World.


It is incredible that there are more successful women now than ever before.

The number of women getting out of the house and competing with men in all the fields has undeniably increased, and that is a wonderful change. Credit for this often goes to feminism; it is widely understood that it has created a revolution, ushering in the era of modern, powerful women.

So, are housewives and stay-at-home moms insignificant now? Does modern society lay an invisible “pressure” on a woman to work? I read an article recently that questions whether feminism has changed the connotation of the word housewife?

I had to quit my job when I got married. I had moved to a different city and decided to take a break for a few months before applying for jobs. I figured I would get time to set up my house, settle down in the new city, and, most importantly, spend time with my husband. I needed to get to know him better as ours was an arranged marriage and we were new to each other.

A few months down the lane, I found I enjoyed being a housewife. I enjoyed organising and maintaining a clean house, and I loved to cook a great meal for when he arrived home from work tired. But, I didn’t want the social stigma of being a housewife as often, to my observation, this role is considered by many of today’s women to be an underrated job and is often looked down upon.

Though I had worked previously, I had never been a particularly career-oriented person. Still, I started applying for jobs for the sake of societal acceptance. We didn’t really need a second income. But the truth remained that I didn’t want to be a housewife because I found the role to be—for some unidentified reason at that point in time—embarrassing.

As I thought about it further, I began to question the reasons that I might feel embarrassed to be a homemaker. It didn’t take long to realize I was wrong.

Why should being a housewife be embarrassing?

There is a lot of effort that goes into such a role.

I do a lot of things for the house and for my husband. I cook from scratch; from spice powders to white butter, I make everything at home. I try to avoid processed or ready-made food for a healthier lifestyle and I don’t prefer fast-foods or takeaways from restaurants, as they are usually low on their nutritious value.

I don’t think I can do all the things I do now if I were coming home from work tired.

Fortunately, my husband never had a problem with my choice, whether I chose to work or stay at home. In fact, he encourages me to do something I am passionate about (writing) rather than taking up a boring desk job. That is how I started my blog and I am loving it.

I won’t deny that initially, I felt a bit insecure financially, but that feeling dissolved as our relationship grew stronger. Today it feels like a healthy dynamic to have both inside and outside support. We have come to know each of our responsibilities, and for us, it strikes a perfect balance for a peaceful home.

Undeniably, we all have different strengths and natures. While it is necessary to be independent, it is also beautiful to embrace what each of us are, if we are secure enough with ourselves and our partner.

I have a few friends who have kids, who chose to stay at home. They want to make sure their child grows to be a wonderful person and that they’re there in every stage of their kids’ childhood. I can’t even get started on all the uncalculated work that goes into raising a child. How can anybody demean these women for being a housewife, when they are doing what is arguably the most important job—raising the next generation.

It’s okay to be a stay-at-home mom or a housewife, even in this modern world.

It is not old-fashioned to do so. It is a choice you make to be there for your loved ones to make sure there is no shortfall in meeting their needs.

You are doing this so that the rest of the family can come back to a clean and peaceful home, relax, and have a delightful meal.

I believe feminism is an often misunderstood and misused concept. Understand that you are no less feminist if you choose to be a housewife. Feminism perhaps encourages a woman to be independent, but primarily it is about the choice. A woman should be able to choose what she wants to do, regardless of social judgment. The negative connotation of the housewife role has to be scrapped out of our minds.

Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Share them in the comments section below.

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