August 1, 2020

Come on, Ladies! Unconditional Love is not the Price Tag for our Validation.

Women are warriors by nature.

They have an innate motherly instinct deeply imprinted within them, whether they give birth to a child or not.

They are the ones who feed, care, nurture, hold, try to heal, and save those closest to them—especially their partners.

More often than not, women treat their men as children and, in return, expect to be treated as a woman. 

But, if you treat your man as a child, he will fail to treat you as a woman—simple as that.

Most of us fail to realize this simple truth. Thus the polarity for a healthy, balanced, and mature relationship is broken. Why? Because women are not giving their partner the opportunity to take responsibility for their lives, allowing him to make choices and decisions, to grow up to the man he is meant to be.

Women are conditioned to believe that they have to be givers at all times in order to be validated and loved—this is a dangerous belief that comes from our conditioning.

Most women think that the more they love, the more they will be loved in return; the more they give, the more they will be given.

It is an unconscious belief pattern that most women have, that they will feel worthy if they love their partner beyond measure—that they will feel validated and appreciated.

This may sound selfish, but if we look deeper, we find that in order for women to feel good about themselves, they must give love—constantly. This can lead to self-sabotaging tendencies, and a tendency to manipulate their partners to get what they want. It’s a subtle game that makes its way into our mind and thought patterns, depending on levels of early conditioning. 

Recently the term “unconditional love” came up in many spiritual circles—another dangerous term that we should stop using. 

Unconditional love does not mean you care and love someone at your own sacrifice— at your own expense, no. It means you can still care about someone, still love them, and choose to walk away, to not continue putting up with their bullsh*t.

It means you care for yourself enough to become aware of reality, and face it as it is.

Unconditional love does not mean you have to put up with any type of toxic behavior, childish requests, or any form of manipulation from outside yourself, like your partners, friends, or family members.

No. Unconditional love means you love and appreciate yourself enough that you don’t need anyone to give you a price tag of validation.

It means you walk away for your own good when you become aware of a toxic dynamic; it means you hold space for another you care about, perhaps you pray for them, and yet you let them go—you walk away if that connection causes you mental distress or brings you down in any way.

Unconditional love says, “I love you, yes. But, no I am not here to serve you or to keep up with your bullsh*t. I am here to save myself, and create and recreate myself every day, to be the best version I envision myself to be.”

And ladies, you deserve it.


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