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August 19, 2020

The sexualization of girls begins with the thoughts of adult men – Sorry, not sorry!


Recently I posted a comment about policing girl’s clothing specifically the length of a dress, that might arouse the curiosity ( amongst other things) of adult men. I was shocked by the number of comments on my personal page, specially women, who wondered “well, how short is short exactly?”

Here is the backstory:

A Mom messaged me to say that she had been to a family function and it was asked of her daughter to go home and change out of her sundress because it was making the women uncomfortable because a few of the men were making suggestive comments about her chest size. Specifically an uncle told her that “Big girls shouldn’t wear sundresses, because her uncle could not keep his eyes on his meal!”
She was told if the dress was perhaps longer, there would have been more fabric to pull up over her chest. I saw the picture of her daughter and every part of her breasts were covered. She could have changed her clothing 10x but nothing was going to make her chest smaller.
When the jokes and rude remarks continued, the mother got angry and told the uncle that he had said the same things to her when she was a kid, and half the adult women there, agreed it was “inappropriate”. An argument ensured and she and her daughter were asked to leave – not the uncle who had sexually harassed most of the women there at some point in their young lives as well!
She was told specifically “ You know what he is like, but you can’t leave well enough alone. It’s JUST the way he is!”

By the time, a girl is 8 years old, we know the rules – at least the rules in my day – men just can’t help themselves!


Sit pretty. Be quiet and respectful.

Cross your ankles.

Be polite.

Hug and give kisses to adults if they ask, even if it makes you uncomfortable. It would be rude not to!

Always use your manners.

Say thank you when someone “compliments” you, even if you feel insulted.

Be nice but NOT too nice or some men will get the wrong idea.

Smile but don’t smile too much or it looks like you are flirting.

Swallow your anger, bite your tongue, walk away.

Don’t take it personally – it’s just a joke.

Don’t say anything to cause a fuss.

Boys will be boys.

Don’t make a scene.

Men only think of “one thing” – just ignore their comments.

What comments you ask?

Here is just a few ✅

“ My, how you have bloomed!”
“ Look at you – you are starting to look like a little lady!”
“ Look at those hips – I bet you can move them.”
“ OMG – you are a sight for sore eyes.”
“ You look so yummy I could eat you up.”
“ I bet you drive the boys at school crazy.”
“ Your Dad is going to need to by a shotgun to keep the boys away.”
“ Someone is going to need a chastity belt.”
“ If you weren’t my niece, cousin, blank – I would……”
“ Come on, come sit on my knee. Let’s talk about the first thing that pops up!”

A slap across the butt – Whats wrong with you? Relax. Gosh, you are so moody. It must be that time of the month!

Comments on her clothing – I hope you are wearing shorts under that skirt, we wouldn’t want anyone taking a sneaky peek.

Comments on her bathing suit at a pool party – I hope you don’t wear that out in public at the beach. You don’t want to give anybody the wrong idea.

Comments on her development – With a body like that y’all are going to have to keep her locked in the house!

Comments on her weight – If she is too thin she is flat as a board and never been nailed. If she is fuller figured, someone male has pinched her waist and suggested ‘someone’ better watch it – they are getting a little chubby.

It’s like the song that never ends. I could keep going.

If you ask any adult woman, over 30, when was the first time they were sexualized or sexually harassed, you will find that almost all of them will say in CHILDHOOD.

I would suggest that anyone who makes such statements should be called out immediately, told to zip it, asked to leave or escorted out.

It is NOT the girl who is to blame.

Place the blame where it belongs – with that ADULT; even if it ruffles a few feathers!

Shame those kind of words and behaviors. Make them unacceptable and maybe things will actually change and there will be one less #metoo story this summer.

Say #NOMORE and stand up for our girls and all children.

Please ?

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Christina Lepore  |  Contribution: 20,055