September 20, 2020

It’s Not My Job to be Likable—it’s to Be Myself.


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It is an interesting time that we are living in right now.

It seems the only aspect of being social is on the internet. And I can not seem to compromise with it.

It seems to me that every time I log on to the devices bestowed upon us, I see someone telling me what to post, getting mad that I didn’t post, or spreading information that they feel is the sole reality.

I’ve had people say they “unfollowed” me because I didn’t contact them recently. The irony of this is that I feel that I am always the one reaching out. How could I possibly reach out to all of my friends on any given day and expect to reply to them when I’m also battling this thing called life in the year of a pandemic, a civil upheaval, and an economic nosedive?

Does it ever occur to you that if I stopped reaching out, maybe no one would ever contact me, and I’d still be stuck with dealing with everything that is personally handed to us on my own. It’s a great thing that we have devices like Facebook and Instagram to make us feel connected and loved (not).

I’m with an amazing man who deleted his own social media because it’s no longer a social tool. I also know other individuals who deleted theirs for the same reason and said it is the best thing that they ever did. And I get it.

Every time I log online, it is a series of virtue signaling, followed by political spam and posts that make us feel reactionary but may not be that volatile if we get to the bottom of it. I try to use sites like Instagram to post my writing or share photos of my journey, but every now and then I see something that I want to share.

It struck a chord when I saw a Youtube personnel apologizing for spreading false information. I’m not incredibly fond of the person who posted this, but I thought it took a great amount of integrity to admit to 10 million followers that they f*cked up. So, I posted it in my own story. Next to it, I wrote this, “If only our local broadcasters would apologize for the lies they have spread.”

Boom. Unfollows. What?!

Did you read the context? Or, did you just click through and make assumptions?

The irony is that the people who unfollowed me post their own series of information on a daily, something that I constantly scroll through and absorb or let go.

So it’s okay for you to post what you want, and for me to take it, but my one post about the media is not okay? I don’t understand how anyone can be offended by someone apologizing for spreading false information—unless they feel that they spread false information, as well.

So go on, everyone, and continue to curate your social media feeds for those who agree with you. Continue to read everything as factual without looking into it more. Continue to see nonpartisan as a problem and the political parties they have given us as the only solution.

It’s not my job to be likable. It’s my job to be myself.

And I refuse to send messages and posts that only make you feel good. I refuse to not dig deep into the issue and to just skim over the surface. I refuse to have friends all on the same page because I want to be challenged. I want to learn.

I want friends, not virtue signalers. I want deep thoughts, not clickbait.

I want to see your life when you’re having a good time and even when it’s complete and total sh*t because I will be there for you. But, I will not stand by and watch as the powers that be keep using tools that are meant to bring us together to divide us more.

Next time that you log off and go about your day, I hope your presence in real life brightens someone else’s life.

I hope your anger is healed by the beauty in the landscapes that surround us. And I hope your friends will be there for you physically, instead of just a scroll away. Because it’s easier to “unfollow” someone and log off than to heal your broken heart.

It’s a privilege to scroll through apps than to see things as they really are, right in front of you. And maybe this is the reality that you want to avoid by focusing on posts and shares, instead.


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