October 7, 2020

I Forgive you for Breaking my Heart.


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You cut me off without warning. 

I had no idea that was the last time we would speak.

How many times did I call you for answers? How many times did I just want you to hear me out or feel some remorse? It took one week for you to replace me—it was a smack in the face. 

Now it’s been one whole year, and you’ve never picked up any of my calls. 

So today, I’m taking my power back—I’m getting closure:

Hi, it’s me. Do you remember all the times you saw my name on your phone and didn’t think I was worth answering? You made me feel like it was my fault—I was the reason we were not talking.

I just wanted answers. I wanted to know why you left me in pieces, broken, and replaced me so quickly.

After all the times I felt blamed—the hurricane moments where everything flashed before my eyes and then ended in what felt like seconds—you would never come to check if I was okay. But today I want to tell you that I am not broken!

After everything, I know I was good to you—I looked past all your flaws and did everything to make you happy. I know that I wasn’t the only one in the wrong.

But you still don’t understand how your actions affected me. You don’t understand that you caused so much sadness and trauma.

You walked away and started a brand new relationship like nothing between us had happened. I was left like roadkill to sew up my own wounds—without any thread. That’s how you left me, but you did not break me.

There were so many times when you never gave me a moment to absorb and understand what was happening; life was changing so fast, and I couldn’t even catch a breath.

Every day you would hurt me even more. It was in all different ways—mostly my self-esteem and my confidence. You flashed anything you could to manipulate me—make me even sicker to my stomach (beyond what I was already handling).

It was like a crane was dumping salt on my already oozing wounds.

To you, I was nobody; I no longer exist.

I want you to know that I forgive you.

I am sending you love and light from my heart to yours. Maybe one day, you will look back and, after years, finally feel remorse for how you broke me.

By the way, thank you for not answering any of my calls. Because of you, I am so much stronger!


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